Rey leaned back into her seat once they reached hyperspace. Her chair turned, looking at both men. Her expression still pensive, but she looked a bit more at ease.
"Have to agree with Finn." Nope, she won't ever forget how much an ass Poe was being, but it made all of them talk with each other. Now...would she tell them what's on her mind?
Nope. She could keep it to herself and then, later, tell them.
Her gaze fell to Poe. "I wish you would have said what's bothering you sooner, but...we're here now. Honestly, I don't know how this will work."
He wet his lips and leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands in front of his lap. “What was I supposed to say? Hey stop acting in love because I’m jealous as hell? It wasn’t your fault. Either of you.”
He was still having a hard time believing that he was in this, too, but not because he doubted Finn’s word. More because it seemed a bit too much to be believed. He rubbed a hand through his hair.
“I mean— I’ve been a third before but only in a, uh, strictly for fun context. I’ve heard of people having— relationships like this, though. If that’s what you guys want.”
Finn glanced to Rey and back to Poe. "It's what I want." He couldn't speak for either of them.
But he did lean forward in his seat, too, as if he could get closer to them that way. "And I don't want to do this just for fun either. I want-... I want us to be something. Something like we are now but more."
If that made any sense to them. To Finn, there were already a family with so much love. He just... wanted more.
"Not...those exact words, but you could've said something." Okay, but yes, they were busy running from the First Order. Hiding from them, fighting them...and ultimately winning. It came at a great price. The loss of so many, including Han, Leia, and Luke.
She remained sitting in her chair, not leaning forward, but held both of her hands in her lap. As much as she wanted to be part of this....she didn't want to drag them further into it. They were already a family, but would they still want her afterwards? Her plan of telling them later would have to change.
"I've never been in a relationship. I don't know how it would work with one person, much less two.." she let out a soft sigh, pulling her hands back to cross her arms a little.
"I want both of you to be happy, and I think to obtain that happiness, I can't be involved."
Poe had always loved Finn, but it was another feeling all together to hear him admit something like that. To hear him echo the things he wanted, too.
But they Rey continued.
Poe’s brow creased, his lips thinning. This was one of the things that had been bothering him for weeks, but he hadn’t seemed to be able to make either of them understand.
She kept leaving. She kept pulling away from them and distancing herself and all they’d ever wanted to do was be there for her and help her. All they were asking for now was to be with her, and she was pulling away even from that. He was stupid to have thought feelings might have changed that.
“Yeah, except now you’re proving I should have kept my mouth shut,” he said a little tightly. “So, what are you saying, exactly? ‘Hey Finn, Poe, I think you guys are swell but I’m gonna jet?’”
Rey's words caught Finn off-guard, too, but they seemed to strike more with Poe than him. The hurt seemed to double, and Finn put his hand on his knee. "Wait, hold on." The last thing they needed was to get into another argument, especially while this was so new.
But her pain was far from new.
"Rey, what's wrong? You haven't been the same since-... since the Death Star. Something's bothering you. We want to help." And, because he knew exactly why Poe was hurt- "Please, don't keep running from us. Not now."
It pained Rey to see Poe like that. She didn't mean to hurt him, didn't mean to ruin things, but it was on her mind lately. With Finn being Force-Sensitive...he picked up on it. He could tell she was upset, and Poe was left in the dark. She looked away, chewing on her lower lip as she tried to think of the best way to explain why she kept running.
She tried doing that on Ahch-To and that didn't do her any good. Luke gave her the push she needed to go, but...would they think less of her?
She dug her nails into her skin, trying to figure out the words until--
"Would you want to be in a relationship with Palpatine's granddaughter?" the words were utter in a faint whisper, as though she didn't want the walls themselves to hear.
Swallowing her nerves, she looked back up at the two of them, hurt and sadness evident in her brown eyes.
"That's why they wanted me. I'm his bloodline, and if I had killed him, out of grief and anger...I would've become a Sith...and inherited the Final Order's fleet."
And she would have. She would have done it to protect them, and they would have hated her for it...and she doubted they would want anything to do with her after this.
Poe was about to interject that actually she'd been running away from them since long before the Death Star, but he somehow managed to bit that down before --
He blinked, stupidly, staring at her with an incredulous expression for several long seconds after she was done.
"That's..." He trailed off at first, until: "... That's seriously the stupidest thing I've ever heard. He seriously thought that you'd find out and then suddenly want to rule the galaxy? What, was he going to mind-wipe you?"
Finn stared at her, confused as hell until Poe piped in and knocked him out of it. "How is that possible?" but he question was more to himself. She had been left on Jakku...
But okay. Finn squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Rey, we- We don't care. You're not him. He was trying to manipulate you, that's all."
Still, wow, what a revelation. Finn couldn't imagine finding out that his biological family was something... like that. He'd feel tainted, too. "I'm sorry. It's-... Are you all right? What can we do?"
"I would have been possessed by his spirit, his power--and heard all the voices of the Sith before me," her tone distant, reliving that moment.
"I was willing to do it to save you and Finn--to save the others." It was a future where she nearly lost herself, but she would have given in if it meant Poe and Finn would be alive. Even if that meant they had to strike her down later. As long as they were alive...that's all that mattered to her.
"No one else knows, living anyway." Because Luke knew, so did Leia. No one told her, because they saw her heart and not her parentage. But, she didn't want either man to feel like she deceived them.
"I'm...as well as one can be. I don't view myself as being part of his family, but I didn't want to hide that from either of you." She called herself a Skywalker, aligning herself with that family name as she felt more connected to that more than anything.
“That’s because you’re not part of his family,” Poe interjected, frowning. He didn’t understand the stakes - didn’t understand how one could possibly lose themselves to a bunch of voices in their head. But he didn’t want to sound stupid, so he didn’t ask.
“So what if you’re related. You never even knew him. Blood doesn’t dictate what we are. Our own pasts don’t dictate what we are—“ he thumbed between himself and Finn. “You didn’t have to tell me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you trust me enough to do it, but. He makes absolutely no difference to me at all.”
A pause.
“Other than that now I want to spit on his grave and show him how wrong he was.”
Finn could relate to Poe's thoughts, but he could also relate to Rey's. He would also do anything to protect the two he loved most in the galaxy, maybe even that. But the thought didn't actually matter. The war was over now.
He shook his head for a second. "That doesn't change how we feel for you. Thank you for telling us, but it doesn't change this. We're here to remind you that you have a different family. Okay?"
Rey wasn't expecting either of them to fully understand what could've happened. How she would've been overpowered by Palpatine, essentially drowning her soul in darkness and lose herself. She had been willing to risk her life, her very being for them. Maybe they would never understand, but that was neither here nor there. They didn't know she had died and Ben brought her back...which she should tell them at some point.
But, not now. The conversation was heavy enough as is.
She found herself releasing a breath she didn't know she had been holding up until this point. It didn't matter to them her bloodline. Her being connected to Palpatine didn't matter to either of them. Rey reached out to both of them, resting her hands on top of theirs, giving them a squeeze.
"I might need that reminder every now and again," she told Finn, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. They were okay with her. They didn't view her as a monster and they...they could figure out how to be a family or a couple? Her gaze turned to Poe, offering a tired, apologetic smile.
His voice might be a little wry but that was purely from how he was deflecting from just how emotional he felt. Despite his words, he turned his palm up to grasp her hand a little more firmly.
The grip was one of assurance, and steadfastness. As much as his mouth may run jokes, his heart was true.
"Good," Finn repeated, "and we'll remind you whenever you need it."
He lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.
Though, Finn had felt her die. Or what he had thought was her death. He had just assumed he felt wrong...
His hand covered Rey's, putting that all in the back of his mind. "Let's enjoy our victory, okay? Maybe let Poe show us around his home." And for them to conveniently forget Finn's force sensitivity. Now that they were okay, they didn't need more problems.
Rey squeezed Poe's hand a little, trying to convey that same feeling of assurance. Finn's kiss to her knuckles was enough to make her heart beat faster than before, ready to jump out of her chest. Tears started to prick at the corners of her eyes, but she held them back. No more sadness, no more anger or grief. Not for this moment. They needed the chance to celebrate their victory, as Finn said.
"Yeah, that would be fun. See where the best pilot in the Resistance grew up."
Learn more about him and the life he lead before taking off to fight in a war.
Her gaze did fall to Finn, sending him a quiet look. They would have to talk about his Force sensitivity later. How he wanted to proceed with that.
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no subject
"Have to agree with Finn." Nope, she won't ever forget how much an ass Poe was being, but it made all of them talk with each other. Now...would she tell them what's on her mind?
Nope. She could keep it to herself and then, later, tell them.
Her gaze fell to Poe. "I wish you would have said what's bothering you sooner, but...we're here now. Honestly, I don't know how this will work."
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He wet his lips and leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands in front of his lap. “What was I supposed to say? Hey stop acting in love because I’m jealous as hell? It wasn’t your fault. Either of you.”
He was still having a hard time believing that he was in this, too, but not because he doubted Finn’s word. More because it seemed a bit too much to be believed. He rubbed a hand through his hair.
“I mean— I’ve been a third before but only in a, uh, strictly for fun context. I’ve heard of people having— relationships like this, though. If that’s what you guys want.”
no subject
But he did lean forward in his seat, too, as if he could get closer to them that way. "And I don't want to do this just for fun either. I want-... I want us to be something. Something like we are now but more."
If that made any sense to them. To Finn, there were already a family with so much love. He just... wanted more.
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She remained sitting in her chair, not leaning forward, but held both of her hands in her lap. As much as she wanted to be part of this....she didn't want to drag them further into it. They were already a family, but would they still want her afterwards? Her plan of telling them later would have to change.
"I've never been in a relationship. I don't know how it would work with one person, much less two.." she let out a soft sigh, pulling her hands back to cross her arms a little.
"I want both of you to be happy, and I think to obtain that happiness, I can't be involved."
no subject
But they Rey continued.
Poe’s brow creased, his lips thinning. This was one of the things that had been bothering him for weeks, but he hadn’t seemed to be able to make either of them understand.
She kept leaving. She kept pulling away from them and distancing herself and all they’d ever wanted to do was be there for her and help her. All they were asking for now was to be with her, and she was pulling away even from that. He was stupid to have thought feelings might have changed that.
“Yeah, except now you’re proving I should have kept my mouth shut,” he said a little tightly. “So, what are you saying, exactly? ‘Hey Finn, Poe, I think you guys are swell but I’m gonna jet?’”
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But her pain was far from new.
"Rey, what's wrong? You haven't been the same since-... since the Death Star. Something's bothering you. We want to help." And, because he knew exactly why Poe was hurt- "Please, don't keep running from us. Not now."
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She tried doing that on Ahch-To and that didn't do her any good. Luke gave her the push she needed to go, but...would they think less of her?
She dug her nails into her skin, trying to figure out the words until--
"Would you want to be in a relationship with Palpatine's granddaughter?" the words were utter in a faint whisper, as though she didn't want the walls themselves to hear.
Swallowing her nerves, she looked back up at the two of them, hurt and sadness evident in her brown eyes.
"That's why they wanted me. I'm his bloodline, and if I had killed him, out of grief and anger...I would've become a Sith...and inherited the Final Order's fleet."
And she would have. She would have done it to protect them, and they would have hated her for it...and she doubted they would want anything to do with her after this.
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He blinked, stupidly, staring at her with an incredulous expression for several long seconds after she was done.
"That's..." He trailed off at first, until: "... That's seriously the stupidest thing I've ever heard. He seriously thought that you'd find out and then suddenly want to rule the galaxy? What, was he going to mind-wipe you?"
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But okay. Finn squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Rey, we- We don't care. You're not him. He was trying to manipulate you, that's all."
Still, wow, what a revelation. Finn couldn't imagine finding out that his biological family was something... like that. He'd feel tainted, too. "I'm sorry. It's-... Are you all right? What can we do?"
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"I was willing to do it to save you and Finn--to save the others." It was a future where she nearly lost herself, but she would have given in if it meant Poe and Finn would be alive. Even if that meant they had to strike her down later. As long as they were alive...that's all that mattered to her.
"No one else knows, living anyway." Because Luke knew, so did Leia. No one told her, because they saw her heart and not her parentage. But, she didn't want either man to feel like she deceived them.
"I'm...as well as one can be. I don't view myself as being part of his family, but I didn't want to hide that from either of you." She called herself a Skywalker, aligning herself with that family name as she felt more connected to that more than anything.
no subject
“So what if you’re related. You never even knew him. Blood doesn’t dictate what we are. Our own pasts don’t dictate what we are—“ he thumbed between himself and Finn. “You didn’t have to tell me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you trust me enough to do it, but. He makes absolutely no difference to me at all.”
A pause.
“Other than that now I want to spit on his grave and show him how wrong he was.”
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He shook his head for a second. "That doesn't change how we feel for you. Thank you for telling us, but it doesn't change this. We're here to remind you that you have a different family. Okay?"
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But, not now. The conversation was heavy enough as is.
She found herself releasing a breath she didn't know she had been holding up until this point. It didn't matter to them her bloodline. Her being connected to Palpatine didn't matter to either of them. Rey reached out to both of them, resting her hands on top of theirs, giving them a squeeze.
"I might need that reminder every now and again," she told Finn, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. They were okay with her. They didn't view her as a monster and they...they could figure out how to be a family or a couple? Her gaze turned to Poe, offering a tired, apologetic smile.
"And I'll stop running from the two of you."
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His voice might be a little wry but that was purely from how he was deflecting from just how emotional he felt. Despite his words, he turned his palm up to grasp her hand a little more firmly.
The grip was one of assurance, and steadfastness. As much as his mouth may run jokes, his heart was true.
no subject
He lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.
Though, Finn had felt her die. Or what he had thought was her death. He had just assumed he felt wrong...
His hand covered Rey's, putting that all in the back of his mind. "Let's enjoy our victory, okay? Maybe let Poe show us around his home." And for them to conveniently forget Finn's force sensitivity. Now that they were okay, they didn't need more problems.
no subject
"Yeah, that would be fun. See where the best pilot in the Resistance grew up."
Learn more about him and the life he lead before taking off to fight in a war.
Her gaze did fall to Finn, sending him a quiet look. They would have to talk about his Force sensitivity later. How he wanted to proceed with that.