"Poe--!" Rey called out, ready to grab him and drag him back to Finn. If he wanted to act like a child, then she would treat him like one. No, children had better tempers than him right now. She was prepared to do that, but then Finn dropped something on both of them that neither were expecting.
"You..." Finn had the Force? He had the FORCE! Realization dawned on her, and it made so much sense to how he could sense her emotions. How he wanted to help her because he could fee what was eating her up inside.
"That's...incredible, Finn." She could teach him--if he wanted. She wouldn't pressure him to be a Jedi or anything of the sort. Still, he had to take care of Poe, reassure him that....well, that he loved him.
"But the two of you--yes, Dameron you, need to work this out."
He’d been more than prepared to push his way past Rey, but Finn’s words still managed to make him freeze, turning around to look at him in shock.
It didn’t last long. After all, what did he know about the Force? Rather than lift his spirits, it sank them like a harpoon to the heart.
Great. Not only was Finn in love with her - not only were they in love with each other - now they both had a special, magical connection to the Force that he would never share or understand. They could go off and be Jedi together and Poe would not even be able to grasp what they struggled with. He wasn’t Leia.
They really were meant for each other.
Up until that moment, he’d been angry. Now? The heartbreak was overwhelming.
“There’s nothing to figure out,” he said roughly, a heat behind his eyes that he was desperately trying to keep there. He was not going to cry. He refused. “I already got the message loud and clear.”
He didn’t belong here. And he was tired of killing himself trying to pretend that he did. He turned away again, roughly shoving his way out of the cockpit.
Could he really make himself completely bare and vulnerable to both of them? There were no two people he trusted more in the galaxy but this wasn't like-
It didn't matter. Rey and Poe both felt miserable, the latter much more so after the confession. It was like the Force made everything worse, but it wasn't something that Finn could change. If Rey was right, though, then he could... fix this?
But just because he dug up the strength to say it didn't mean he could say this very loudly. Even beyond the Force, something he thought they would reject him for (Poe for being afraid, Rey for abandoning her), this was a secret was much more painful.
"Damnit Dameron!" Rey cursed, ready to chase after him, and literally drag him back by his hand--or his hair. One of the two were bound to happen. She didn't want either man to hurt so much. She should just remove herself, then things would be fine. Maybe if she stayed on Tatooine, then things would fall into place.
Skywalker or Palpatine, they had a reputation of hurting others around them. Fuck, maybe she was better off alone.
She reached out to grab Poe's hand, trying to catch him as he pushed past them. However Finn's news made her stop. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. He was in love with both of them? Could that even be possible?
Or maybe she was afraid to admit the truth of it, that she loved both men too. No, she wouldn't drag them into the tangle mess of heritage she had.
"Poe..." she called back, trying to get the other man to come back to them--to Finn.
"Go to him...just...please." Because Poe loved him, Poe loved Finn and that was fine. She could let them both be happy.
He’d been mid wondering what was the best way to taunt a Hutt into a duel to the death - something that sounded extremely appetizing right now - when Finn’s voice caught him up short.
His heart thudded painfully in his chest, something like hope mixing in with the deep heart break, but he purposely chastised himself for feeling any hope at all. He hovered in the doorway, his back to them and his mind working rapidly.
Go to him, she said, but that didn’t sound right either. Could she seriously not see that she was the hinge of this? That she was the whole point, and he was getting thrown table scraps that he desperately, desperately wanted. He turned around, confusion and wariness on his face but also that undeniable spark of desperate hope in his chest.
So he just stood there, dumbly, a pillar next to Rey and staring openly back at Finn.
It was rare that Poe Dameron was rendered speechless, but... well, here they were.
Finn inwardly heaved a sigh and stepped forward, making a grab for each of their hands.
"Look, I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted these conversations to go, but, listen, we don't have to do anything. I'd rather not be with either of you than lose one of you... I'm sorry. Can we just... calm down maybe?"
Poe was speechless and Rey was trying to figure out what to do. She wanted to fix things, make it so Finn and Poe had a happily ever after, or whatever it is they told in stories and holonovels. She wanted them to be happy, even if it meant she wasn't in the picture.
But, Finn wasn't having it. He took each of them by the hand. Without thinking, she laced her fingers with his, squeezing his hand whenever she felt stressed or needed silent reassurance from her best friend.
"No...don't apologize. That's how you feel, and I'm..." Trying to process things. Trying not to get her hopes up, trying so hard to not pull back and say they shouldn't be close to her because the people she cares about end up dying. She sucked in a deep breath, and reached for Poe's hand.
The three of them connected, as it had been before, when they were fighting to stay alive.
"I've had the same feelings, but I thought it would be best if I didn't act on them."
Once she told them the truth....they would have each other, and that would...that would be okay.
Poe’s brain was in the middle of doing a hard reboot, and by the time he was done, they were all holding hands again. Seriously?? Right now?? Holding hands was pretty much the mildest form of everything he was possibly feeling.
He glanced down at his hands incredulously, and then abruptly let go of both of them. He didn’t leave them wondering over the action for long. Instead he immediately threw an arm around each of them, pulling them into a tight, hard hug.
He was having a lot of trouble processing but his relief was so strong it was rolling off of him in waves.
“I love you guys so much,” he said in a pained rush, face buried between theirs. “It was driving me crazy thinking about the two of you without me.”
"I'm sorry," he said again, despite what Rey said. Wrapped up in this hug, he could feel their relief and love practically overwhelming him. But also Rey's hurt and hesitance. There was something there. Something wrong.
Finn pulled his arms tight around them both. "I thought so, too. I didn't think either of you-" But that had been wrong, so he just buried his head into Poe's shoulder.
They were all wrapped in a hug, and it was hard to not hug back. She wrapped one arm around Poe, and the other around Finn. The Jedi were not one to have attachments like these, at least from what she read. But, she was a different Jedi wasn't she? Given her background, given what happened. Surely, she could make this work?
No...no she shouldn't tempt fate.
"I wanted both of you to be happy. I didn't want to lose either of you so...I thought that was the best thing to do."
And holding back the last part that she still felt that way. But..for a moment, they could have this. Once they learned her truth, they would recoil and distance themselves from her. Though it would hurt, it would be for their own protection.
Poe didn't have the force, and he could only feel what he felt, but even he was starting to pick up that trace of uncertainty.
He hadn't really had time to think through everything yet - the emotional whiplash of the last few moments still had him reeling, a bit. So all he could do was hug them tighter.
"Okay, so, mutually idiots?" he chuckled a little. "Is that what I'm understanding?"
Finn breathed a laugh. "Yeah. Sure. Let's call it that." It was just about the best explanation he could come up with.
He leaned his head away to give himself just enough room to peck a kiss against Rey's forehead and then Poe's. There was still hurt here swirling around them, and he didn't know what it was from or what it was for. All he knew was that he wanted to fix it.
Finn rested his forehead against theirs. "Should-... How are we doing this? Do people do this?" He's heard of it, sure, but he didn't know how it worked or if it even worked successfully at all.
The kiss to her forehead was welcomed and made her heartache all the same. Though, with Finn being Force sensitive, she had to reign back her feelings to keep herself form broadcasting them to him. He didn't need to know she wasn't fully on board with this. Or let anything show on her face that she was preparing to be the odd one out--by her own choice.
If they became...a couple? What if they would want children? Could she let his bloodline continue? No, she couldn't do that. Could she?
"I don't know..." Rey admitted honestly, a small, soft smile on her face. "I've never been in a relationship. I was--am? Prepared to still be on my own."
He could tell he was missing something, and his brain was working far far too slowly to be able to actually computer anything, so he... fell back to jokes. Because when in doubt, be sarcastic about everything.
"Yeah, you're asking the wrong guy for help on that one," He said wryly, pulling back from the hug enough so he could actually see their faces. "Clearly they haven't been one of my greatest accomplishments."
"But you were never going to be on your own," Poe pointed out, wetting his lips. "Look, can we - Can we back up a bit? I'm still trying to wrap my head around - uh - well - everything? How did this--"
"You don't have to be on your own," he told Rey, wishing that she had already learned this or that he'd been better in showing it.
But Poe did have... a point. "I don't know. I just- I think I've always felt this way for both of you. When I started... feeling more, I was a little more certain of myself... Whatever's happening, I'm glad it is."
"It would be safer that way." Wasn't that Luke had said? Then again, that's what she had done, gone to Ahch-To to live out her days there, wanting the line to die with her. Luke's ghost convinced her otherwise.
"I don't know when I started to have feelings for Finn...but I felt something for you when we first met." Officially met on Crait, when things were bad, and when they were on the Falcon. Poe asked for her name, and she said her name. A soft smile exchanged between them...
And spending time together, it was hard to comprehend, having feelings for two people. She pushed them down in favor of training.
"Is that why you keep running off on us?" He asked, a little exasperatedly, but it was well tempered by the warmth that had seeped into his smile.
This was all approximately 80 times too much for him, and he was having a real hard time coming to terms with it instead of just kissing them both right then and there. He was still debating if that's what he should do when he finally managed to force himself to step back. "Look, I-- I would really like to sort this out right now but I wasn't actually kidding about the Hutts."
He also needed at least five minutes to get his brain to stop running a hundred miles a minute. "Can we - uh - can we keep talking about this one we're in the air--"
Poe was the one that had wanted to step away from the pilot's seat, but other than a cheeky grin, Finn didn't bring it up. "Lot of time in hyperspace between here and Yavin. Plenty of time to talk." And maybe do other things... but mostly talk, honestly.
Though when he turned back to Rey, Finn leaned in again to give her another kiss on the cheek. "I don't think any of us can claim to be safe." But even with the flippant comment, he knew this was something deeper. It really troubled her, for whatever reason. "We want you here, Rey."
"Not entirely?" Rey admitted, her smile turning a bit sheepish. She had to run away to draw attention away from them. To fight off Ren and his Knights. When she had to complete a mission that left her heart aching and nearly turned her into a Sith...
Yeah, they needed time to talk. A lot of time, and when it was all said and done, maybe they would still want her? Or at least still be friends.
"We can keep talking, that's fine.." Preparing to head back to her seat, but Finn's kiss to her cheek gave her pause. She brought a hand to rest on his cheek, thumb brushing over his smooth skin. A pensive look on her face as she held back her feelings.
"I know.." And honestly, having two people want her was something she could fathom, especially after years of yearning for a family that was long dead. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and moved back to her seat.
Picking up from where they left off, the engines roared back to life. Everything was a go from her side.
"Ready?" she asked Poe, prepping for their take off.
Twenty minutes later, they were in hyperspace, and Poe finally let himself sit back and turn around in his chair to look at the other two, a smile on his face that was half overwhelmed and half bewildered, but pleased.
"Uh... so can we - ah- pretend I haven't been acting like an ass for a week?"
Finn was seated behind the copilot again, like before, and he'd been so dazed with happiness and staring at his lovers that he kind of forgot himself. So he blinked back to reality when Poe spoke up.
"Ah... Acting like an ass finally made us talk, so no." Well, made Finn talk. Their confessions just seemed to follow naturally. "But it's forgiven. I never meant to hurt you. Either of you."
Rey leaned back into her seat once they reached hyperspace. Her chair turned, looking at both men. Her expression still pensive, but she looked a bit more at ease.
"Have to agree with Finn." Nope, she won't ever forget how much an ass Poe was being, but it made all of them talk with each other. Now...would she tell them what's on her mind?
Nope. She could keep it to herself and then, later, tell them.
Her gaze fell to Poe. "I wish you would have said what's bothering you sooner, but...we're here now. Honestly, I don't know how this will work."
He wet his lips and leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands in front of his lap. “What was I supposed to say? Hey stop acting in love because I’m jealous as hell? It wasn’t your fault. Either of you.”
He was still having a hard time believing that he was in this, too, but not because he doubted Finn’s word. More because it seemed a bit too much to be believed. He rubbed a hand through his hair.
“I mean— I’ve been a third before but only in a, uh, strictly for fun context. I’ve heard of people having— relationships like this, though. If that’s what you guys want.”
Finn glanced to Rey and back to Poe. "It's what I want." He couldn't speak for either of them.
But he did lean forward in his seat, too, as if he could get closer to them that way. "And I don't want to do this just for fun either. I want-... I want us to be something. Something like we are now but more."
If that made any sense to them. To Finn, there were already a family with so much love. He just... wanted more.
"Not...those exact words, but you could've said something." Okay, but yes, they were busy running from the First Order. Hiding from them, fighting them...and ultimately winning. It came at a great price. The loss of so many, including Han, Leia, and Luke.
She remained sitting in her chair, not leaning forward, but held both of her hands in her lap. As much as she wanted to be part of this....she didn't want to drag them further into it. They were already a family, but would they still want her afterwards? Her plan of telling them later would have to change.
"I've never been in a relationship. I don't know how it would work with one person, much less two.." she let out a soft sigh, pulling her hands back to cross her arms a little.
"I want both of you to be happy, and I think to obtain that happiness, I can't be involved."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
"You..." Finn had the Force? He had the FORCE! Realization dawned on her, and it made so much sense to how he could sense her emotions. How he wanted to help her because he could fee what was eating her up inside.
"That's...incredible, Finn." She could teach him--if he wanted. She wouldn't pressure him to be a Jedi or anything of the sort. Still, he had to take care of Poe, reassure him that....well, that he loved him.
"But the two of you--yes, Dameron you, need to work this out."
no subject
It didn’t last long. After all, what did he know about the Force? Rather than lift his spirits, it sank them like a harpoon to the heart.
Great. Not only was Finn in love with her - not only were they in love with each other - now they both had a special, magical connection to the Force that he would never share or understand. They could go off and be Jedi together and Poe would not even be able to grasp what they struggled with. He wasn’t Leia.
They really were meant for each other.
Up until that moment, he’d been angry. Now? The heartbreak was overwhelming.
“There’s nothing to figure out,” he said roughly, a heat behind his eyes that he was desperately trying to keep there. He was not going to cry. He refused. “I already got the message loud and clear.”
He didn’t belong here. And he was tired of killing himself trying to pretend that he did. He turned away again, roughly shoving his way out of the cockpit.
no subject
Could he really make himself completely bare and vulnerable to both of them? There were no two people he trusted more in the galaxy but this wasn't like-
It didn't matter. Rey and Poe both felt miserable, the latter much more so after the confession. It was like the Force made everything worse, but it wasn't something that Finn could change. If Rey was right, though, then he could... fix this?
But just because he dug up the strength to say it didn't mean he could say this very loudly. Even beyond the Force, something he thought they would reject him for (Poe for being afraid, Rey for abandoning her), this was a secret was much more painful.
"I'm in love with both of you."
no subject
Skywalker or Palpatine, they had a reputation of hurting others around them. Fuck, maybe she was better off alone.
She reached out to grab Poe's hand, trying to catch him as he pushed past them. However Finn's news made her stop. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. He was in love with both of them? Could that even be possible?
Or maybe she was afraid to admit the truth of it, that she loved both men too. No, she wouldn't drag them into the tangle mess of heritage she had.
"Poe..." she called back, trying to get the other man to come back to them--to Finn.
"Go to him...just...please." Because Poe loved him, Poe loved Finn and that was fine. She could let them both be happy.
no subject
His heart thudded painfully in his chest, something like hope mixing in with the deep heart break, but he purposely chastised himself for feeling any hope at all. He hovered in the doorway, his back to them and his mind working rapidly.
Go to him, she said, but that didn’t sound right either. Could she seriously not see that she was the hinge of this? That she was the whole point, and he was getting thrown table scraps that he desperately, desperately wanted. He turned around, confusion and wariness on his face but also that undeniable spark of desperate hope in his chest.
So he just stood there, dumbly, a pillar next to Rey and staring openly back at Finn.
It was rare that Poe Dameron was rendered speechless, but... well, here they were.
no subject
Finn inwardly heaved a sigh and stepped forward, making a grab for each of their hands.
"Look, I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted these conversations to go, but, listen, we don't have to do anything. I'd rather not be with either of you than lose one of you... I'm sorry. Can we just... calm down maybe?"
no subject
But, Finn wasn't having it. He took each of them by the hand. Without thinking, she laced her fingers with his, squeezing his hand whenever she felt stressed or needed silent reassurance from her best friend.
"No...don't apologize. That's how you feel, and I'm..." Trying to process things. Trying not to get her hopes up, trying so hard to not pull back and say they shouldn't be close to her because the people she cares about end up dying. She sucked in a deep breath, and reached for Poe's hand.
The three of them connected, as it had been before, when they were fighting to stay alive.
"I've had the same feelings, but I thought it would be best if I didn't act on them."
Once she told them the truth....they would have each other, and that would...that would be okay.
no subject
He glanced down at his hands incredulously, and then abruptly let go of both of them. He didn’t leave them wondering over the action for long. Instead he immediately threw an arm around each of them, pulling them into a tight, hard hug.
He was having a lot of trouble processing but his relief was so strong it was rolling off of him in waves.
“I love you guys so much,” he said in a pained rush, face buried between theirs. “It was driving me crazy thinking about the two of you without me.”
no subject
Finn pulled his arms tight around them both. "I thought so, too. I didn't think either of you-" But that had been wrong, so he just buried his head into Poe's shoulder.
no subject
No...no she shouldn't tempt fate.
"I wanted both of you to be happy. I didn't want to lose either of you so...I thought that was the best thing to do."
And holding back the last part that she still felt that way. But..for a moment, they could have this. Once they learned her truth, they would recoil and distance themselves from her. Though it would hurt, it would be for their own protection.
no subject
He hadn't really had time to think through everything yet - the emotional whiplash of the last few moments still had him reeling, a bit. So all he could do was hug them tighter.
"Okay, so, mutually idiots?" he chuckled a little. "Is that what I'm understanding?"
no subject
He leaned his head away to give himself just enough room to peck a kiss against Rey's forehead and then Poe's. There was still hurt here swirling around them, and he didn't know what it was from or what it was for. All he knew was that he wanted to fix it.
Finn rested his forehead against theirs. "Should-... How are we doing this? Do people do this?" He's heard of it, sure, but he didn't know how it worked or if it even worked successfully at all.
no subject
If they became...a couple? What if they would want children? Could she let his bloodline continue? No, she couldn't do that. Could she?
"I don't know..." Rey admitted honestly, a small, soft smile on her face. "I've never been in a relationship. I was--am? Prepared to still be on my own."
no subject
"Yeah, you're asking the wrong guy for help on that one," He said wryly, pulling back from the hug enough so he could actually see their faces. "Clearly they haven't been one of my greatest accomplishments."
"But you were never going to be on your own," Poe pointed out, wetting his lips. "Look, can we - Can we back up a bit? I'm still trying to wrap my head around - uh - well - everything? How did this--"
no subject
But Poe did have... a point. "I don't know. I just- I think I've always felt this way for both of you. When I started... feeling more, I was a little more certain of myself... Whatever's happening, I'm glad it is."
no subject
"I don't know when I started to have feelings for Finn...but I felt something for you when we first met." Officially met on Crait, when things were bad, and when they were on the Falcon. Poe asked for her name, and she said her name. A soft smile exchanged between them...
And spending time together, it was hard to comprehend, having feelings for two people. She pushed them down in favor of training.
no subject
This was all approximately 80 times too much for him, and he was having a real hard time coming to terms with it instead of just kissing them both right then and there. He was still debating if that's what he should do when he finally managed to force himself to step back. "Look, I-- I would really like to sort this out right now but I wasn't actually kidding about the Hutts."
He also needed at least five minutes to get his brain to stop running a hundred miles a minute. "Can we - uh - can we keep talking about this one we're in the air--"
no subject
Though when he turned back to Rey, Finn leaned in again to give her another kiss on the cheek. "I don't think any of us can claim to be safe." But even with the flippant comment, he knew this was something deeper. It really troubled her, for whatever reason. "We want you here, Rey."
no subject
Yeah, they needed time to talk. A lot of time, and when it was all said and done, maybe they would still want her? Or at least still be friends.
"We can keep talking, that's fine.." Preparing to head back to her seat, but Finn's kiss to her cheek gave her pause. She brought a hand to rest on his cheek, thumb brushing over his smooth skin. A pensive look on her face as she held back her feelings.
"I know.." And honestly, having two people want her was something she could fathom, especially after years of yearning for a family that was long dead. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and moved back to her seat.
Picking up from where they left off, the engines roared back to life. Everything was a go from her side.
"Ready?" she asked Poe, prepping for their take off.
no subject
Twenty minutes later, they were in hyperspace, and Poe finally let himself sit back and turn around in his chair to look at the other two, a smile on his face that was half overwhelmed and half bewildered, but pleased.
"Uh... so can we - ah- pretend I haven't been acting like an ass for a week?"
no subject
"Ah... Acting like an ass finally made us talk, so no." Well, made Finn talk. Their confessions just seemed to follow naturally. "But it's forgiven. I never meant to hurt you. Either of you."
no subject
"Have to agree with Finn." Nope, she won't ever forget how much an ass Poe was being, but it made all of them talk with each other. Now...would she tell them what's on her mind?
Nope. She could keep it to herself and then, later, tell them.
Her gaze fell to Poe. "I wish you would have said what's bothering you sooner, but...we're here now. Honestly, I don't know how this will work."
no subject
He wet his lips and leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands in front of his lap. “What was I supposed to say? Hey stop acting in love because I’m jealous as hell? It wasn’t your fault. Either of you.”
He was still having a hard time believing that he was in this, too, but not because he doubted Finn’s word. More because it seemed a bit too much to be believed. He rubbed a hand through his hair.
“I mean— I’ve been a third before but only in a, uh, strictly for fun context. I’ve heard of people having— relationships like this, though. If that’s what you guys want.”
no subject
But he did lean forward in his seat, too, as if he could get closer to them that way. "And I don't want to do this just for fun either. I want-... I want us to be something. Something like we are now but more."
If that made any sense to them. To Finn, there were already a family with so much love. He just... wanted more.
no subject
She remained sitting in her chair, not leaning forward, but held both of her hands in her lap. As much as she wanted to be part of this....she didn't want to drag them further into it. They were already a family, but would they still want her afterwards? Her plan of telling them later would have to change.
"I've never been in a relationship. I don't know how it would work with one person, much less two.." she let out a soft sigh, pulling her hands back to cross her arms a little.
"I want both of you to be happy, and I think to obtain that happiness, I can't be involved."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)