;poe

[hatejakku]

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Comments

[flightforfreedom]

He didn't fight it, even though the affection was far more heartbreaking than it was comforting.

Finn had always been perfect, and he still was. He was a better man than Poe ever had been.

Poe closed his eyes, trying just to breathe, but the guilt was building fast now that the desperation had subdued. He swallowed thickly.

"... Yeah, I do. You don't - fuck, none of this is fair to you--"

[hatejakku]

Fair to Finn? Seriously?

"No. No, Poe. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I- I took advantage when-" All of his disjointed sentences were being projected right into Poe's skin, his lips still trying to kiss him to make all this better.

But- Fuck. Fuck. What could he do? What was he going to do? His arms tried to hold Poe closer. "Don't be like that. You didn't- It's okay. It's not your fault."

[flightforfreedom]

Finn tried to hold him closer but Poe kept trying to pull away. He felt almost sick, now. Not because of Finn. Not beautiful, wonderful, perfect Finn. But because of himself.

"It's absolutely my fault," he asserted. "You don't-- fuck-- you don't get it, Finn. You've been gone almost a year. I-- I tried to move on, I- I've been seeing someone else--"

It felt like someone punched him in the gut and he pulled back further, pulling his hands up and pressing his face into them, burying it. "Fuck, he really doesn't deserve this either--"

[hatejakku]

Finn flinched like he'd been burned, not pulling away but allowing Poe to slip from his grip. He'd been seeing someone? Poe was with someone? "I didn't know," was his initial response, spoken quietly like he didn't really mean to speak it.

He thought- He thought that was the start of something incredible, something beautiful that he hardly dared to dream about when he was young. A happier life full of love and peace. Instead, he'd hurt Poe and hurt this person Poe cared for. Probably loved. All because he realized that Poe had once loved a different Finn and thought he could take advantage of that.

He felt sick with guilt, a familiar yet much more intimate feeling. "I'm sorry." He needed to leave. Right now. Couldn't very well teleport away naked, but where the hell was his clothes? Finn backed away and started moving to slip out of bed, trying to keep their distance, fingers trembling and heart crumbled.

[flightforfreedom]

"Of course you didn't know. You couldn't know. I hadn't told you," he pointed out, the self loathing laced heavily into every word.

His hands lowered to watch Finn get up, the heart break written clear across his face, and a surge of protective self hatred bloomed in his check, choking in his throat. No. He couldn't do this. He couldn't let Finn walk out like this.

He was off the bed before the thought had even fully computed, reaching out to grab Finn's wrists before he could do anything with his hands, a fierce sort of grief written across his face.

"That was me, Finn. Understand? You don't - I don't want you to feel sorry for something that's my fault, you didn't-- you didn't do anything wrong. Ever. You've never been anything but good to me even as I ruin everything for you-- Finn--" he swallowed heavily, his palms a little sweaty even as they bound Finn's wrists tightly. "I should have waited. I knew I should have. I did for a while but I-- I should have waited, because I'm still - I'm still so fucking in love with you and I don't even care that you don't remember because every single thing you do reminds me that you're the same man, the same huge, perfect heart, and I don't - I don't care if you can't remember all the times I accidentally crushed it or ruined everything, I just--"

He words were faltering, the desperation far more clear than the meaning.

"I'm sorry. I'm so-- I'm so fucking sorry--"

[hatejakku]

He didn't know what to say. His first instinct was to wrap Poe in a hug but should he? Was that the response he should go with? He wanted time to think, just a moment to get everything together and look at this from a half-ass logical standpoint. Right now, Poe was hysterical, gripping hard at his wrists, saying that he was in love with him while being with someone else.

Finn didn't know what to say or what the correct response was, but he had to say something. "I- I was gone almost a year. I wouldn't have wanted you to wait. I-... You moved on. That's good... That's good. I'm the one who- I came back and I've-" What, ruined everything over things he couldn't control with information he didn't have?

He stared at their hands, just trying to breathe and not cry, desperate to take a moment and think. Poe was making it sound like this other man was... the other man, that Poe and Finn were the item that was falling apart because of this. What the hell was he supposed to think? He thought Poe loved him. And he was still saying that he did but it was a different Finn and he'd moved on and- His hands were beginning to tremble out of his control. "What about- What about him? This- You- We can fix this. I'll tell him everything. I'll tell him anything you want me to. I can fix it."