lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He wasn't sure whether he should keep Poe awake or let him knock out again. His instincts screamed to keep him awake but... not with-...

"You thought-... You planned that?" Okay. Okay, okay, okay. This was okay. Finn kept shaking his head again, trying to think, ignoring the question.

A thought lingered on the edge of his mind. That Poe did this for him. That this had happened because of him. That this was his fault. That he had done this. But he kept all of that away and to the edge, out of reach. He couldn't think about that.

"No - no guns. Down an engine. It was either - either you and me, or- or me and him." It's hard to talk, his lungs not fully cooperating, and he's wheezing. It feels like no matter how much air he gets, it's not enough.

"... No- no choice. Sorry. Couldn't.. Couldn't lose you..."

"Those weren't the only options. You didn't have to- Dammit, Poe. I was leading him away." But he had asked for help, hadn't he? Finn could argue this until he turned blue, but it didn't help Poe now.

He took the knife from his boot and started cutting through Poe's shirt, trying to see if he could... do anything. "Just stay still, all right?"

"Not- not going anywhere," he promised, and then had the weirdest compulsion to chuckle. Get it? Not going anywhere...

He grunted as Finn cut at the fabric, pain shooting through his body as he shifted automatically away from the blade. Only a millimetre, maybe two, but more than enough to regret it.

"... Didn't think I'd... Ever actually have to worry about last words," he mumbled, eyes sliding shut. He just realised he couldn't feel his lower half.

"Stay still," he growled in response, just getting more pissed off by the second. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm getting you out. Just-"

Finn had cut enough away to realize that he wasn't seeing things. The dash had gone through Poe, almost cutting him clean in half. That- Poe wasn't going to make it... He should try to make him comfortable. Try to... help in any way he could.

But that-... No. That can't happen. Poe can't die. Not like this. "I'm going to-" His voice wavered. Shit. Fuck. He couldn't pull the dash out even if he was able to. He couldn't leave Poe here to send a distress call. He couldn't amputate his fucking torso.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Shoot him, trooper, he could hear Phasma say. Put him out of his misery. "I can do this." He started looking at the dash and all of the pieces in his friend, trying to find anything he could remove without actually touching it or making it all worse.

Poe fell quiet and still as he was bade - though whether it was because Finn had told him to or because he'd passed out for a few seconds was unclear. When Finn started swearing, his eyes fluttered open again, focusing himself to focus. At least it didn't really hurt, anymore. He just felt numb, almost everywhere.

Shock, probably.

"Finn." A calm, almost gentle word, and his hand moved, just a little, trying to reach, but he obviously couldn't control it well.

"Finn, it's okay. It going to be alright. You need to... To relax, okay? Just - just hold my hand for a second. Just let me..." But he trailed off, eyes unfocusing, a fresh line of blood running from his lips. Then a shuddering breath and he tried to refocus again.

"More time than- that anyone else gets, please, just be with me, okay?"

He shook his head. "I can do this." His voice wavered again, hot tears trailing down his face. He couldn't do this. There was nothing he could do. Except there had to be. There had to be a way to save him, and he just couldn't fucking see it.

"Just- I need to think." His hand did grab Poe's, holding on tight for comfort and to make sure he stopped moving around. "I need to think. I need to- Fuck."

Okay, okay. He couldn't move the dash, so he couldn't move Poe. Can't leave, so can't call for help. Maybe he could haul the whole ship? Maybe he- No, no, it would tear apart and never survive getting through atmo, much less off the ground. That was stupid--

Poe's grip was weak, but he had one - his hand already far cooler than Finn's. He let out a long breathe, the sound almost a wheeze, as he gripped with what little force he had left.

His eyes closed again.

"... Always wished I could have... Seen you face. When you came into that interrogation chamber. When you woke me up. I ... I dream about it sometimes, what your expression must have .. Must have been like. Determined..." He trailed off. "... So determined to save me... But you already did, Finn, this has all been - "

"This has all been bonus..."

"I didn't save you so that you could die for me like this-!" But hadn't he? He saved Poe for his own gain back then, right?

Fuck! Why was he arguing with him!? Now's not the time to argue with him! "I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I- Poe, don't talk like that. I'm going to-" He can't get him out. He can't do anything.

"... Hey, we've all gotta... Go sometime, right?" He coughed again, pain breaking through the numbness and making his whole buddy shudder, which make the pain worse. He could feel sweat breaking on his forehead.

"... Can you grab the - the chain around my neck? Figured it's - it's technically yours anyway, and I don't- don't want it getting lost with me, so..." He trailed off, trying to breathe, and then murmured a little more lowly:

"You can... Can give it to Rose, if you want... Or Rey, or whoever-- never did manage to figure that one out--"

All he'd known was that it wasn't him.

"Not right now, you don't," he answered to the first part, other hand pressed against Poe's neck as he shuddered. He didn't even have anything to help against the pain.

None of that mattered anyway. Poe wasn't making sense anymore. "What?" Despite his confusion, Finn's fingers did find the chain. It's Poe's but it's Finn's and he has to give it to Rey or Rose? "That's yours, Poe." He didn't know anything about the necklace except that Poe wore it all the time. Taking it made this seem so much more final.

Even so, he still had his fingers twined with the chain.

"Listen, just- I know I'm- I can figure this out. You're not- I can't let you-" But Poe was so accepting. And Finn would only make him upset. And there was nothing he could do. But he couldn't give up. "Stop trying to give away your stuff, man. We can do this. We've been through worse. The Finalizer was worse, right? Crait was worse." Nothing was worse than this.

"Yeah. They were worse."

He was meant to die, on the Finaliser. Meant to die on Jakku. Meant to die above the starkiller, at the end of a turret on a dreadnaught, in the middle of hyperspace on a fragile transport. On Crait. Every day one more than he thought he'd have.

"But I'm not... I'm not making it out of this one." His voice was getting weaker. "Please. Take it, Finn, please. With my - with all of it, just take it--"

"Okay, okay." Anything to make Poe stop asking him. He'll just- He'll give it back. Later, when this is over, when they're both okay, he'll give it back.

... Poe was dying. He wasn't going to be okay.

Finn gently moved the chain over his head, easily taking the necklace off of him with his shirt cut to shreds. The ring itself looked fine, not even dented or anything. "I won't lose it like the jacket, I promise." Why did he even say that? "I'll hold on to it." But didn't he want him to give it to someone?

"Poe, please, just- I'm here, all right? Don't worry." It was getting hard to talk through the crying, but he cleared himself up again. Please, keep thinking. Please, don't stop thinking. Help him, please.

"I'm not worried," he mumbled, a line of sweat sliding down his temple and down his jaw.

"Jacket wasn't- wasn't important, not really, just - just wanted you to have..." He trailed off, thought incomplete, his hand in Finn's going slack, his breathing slowing. A half second later he sucked in a breath, again. Like he was fighting for every last second.

"Was my mom's." He added, after a minute. "Her - her wedding ring. Kept it so I could... But that was never going to happen, so at least it can... Sort of be yours now anyway..."

"No, no-" He held Poe's hand tight enough to hurt, and the other man came back to him just like that. But he was leaving. He was leaving, and Finn couldn't stop it.

Wait, his mother? "Her wedding ring?" He'd heard some things about Shara Bey - that she was a fantastic pilot, that she died when he was young - enough to know that this ring was important to him. "Poe, I can't-" He should bring it back to Poe's father, give it to someone he had loved, let- Wait.

He went back over Poe's choice of words, the dogfight, their entire relationship, the way they'd met- Take it, Finn, please. With my - with all of it-

No, that couldn't be. That couldn't be right. He was reading this wrong. But he was also running out of time. "I love you." It was out there before he had a chance to really think this through. "Please, don't do this. Don't do this. Just- If we don't report in, someone's going to come looking for us, right? Then you can- you can give me this and we- Poe, please. Please. I love you. Don't do this to me."

Poe let out a wet sound, blood bubbling at his lips in half a laugh, half a sob.

"They'll - they'll get you. I know they will. It won't.. It won't be for nothing, you'll be okay..." Everything was fuzzy, and there was a buzz in his ears that just kept getting louder.

"... I'm sorry. I'm sorry - I love you, Finn, I always..."

Why the fuck was he apologizing!? "No, no! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I can't do anything! I don't know what to-! No, please, Poe, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry!"

Finn sucked in a few harsh breaths, trying to get a hold of himself. He could lose his mind later. Poe needed him here now. "I'm sorry. I love you. I love you." He held his hand. It was the only thing he could do. Useless. All his fault. "I wish I knew. I wish-" What did it matter anymore? "I'm sorry."

Poe managed to focus his eyes for a few seconds, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he managed to bring Finn's face into focus, even if he was only half hearing the words. Every breath was a trial, his lungs slowly collapsing, filling with blood.

"Not your... This isn't you fault, Finn. You're beautiful. You know that? You're..." His eyes unfocused again and he had to fight to bring Finn's face back into focus. "What do they say about the Force? Don't worry, because I.." He shuddered, his grip slackening.

"I will always...."

But no other words came, his whole body shivering for one last time, before going still, sightless eyes looking right through Finn.

"Poe?"

Finn knew. He knew he was gone. "No, no, no- Poe, no. No." He pulled on his tattered shirt, gripped his hand, but none of it did anything different. Finn sobbed and kept babbling, not even listening to himself. Something about apologizing and love and how it should have been him. This was supposed to be him.

He leaned forward, trying to hold Poe as best he could, sobbing and screaming against his body. And he stayed that way until the boom of a ship coming out of hyperspace met his ears, stayed until ships appeared overhead. He just stayed.

He never really left.

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;poe

this icon is titled "never use this icon" just fyi

Loool

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OW, BRITT, DAMN