Finn (
hatejakku) wrote in
lina_musebox2018-11-07 09:44 pm
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;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

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Though, he didn't know what to make of Poe's expression. Was he just tired after the mission? Or did he feel worse for his own situation? Or did he know what he was to Finn and didn't want that? Whatever it was, his touch felt so much more electrifying now that Finn had to take a deep breath before continuing.
"I... think it's sort of the same as yours, though. I don't think they feel the same way."
It was possible, but Poe never mentioned that his tattoo reacted to Finn specifically. He still wasn't even sure they could activate when the other person had no tattoo. There were too many questions, a lot of possibilities, and not enough hope. Finn couldn't bring himself to go any deeper with it like this.
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“Why did she tell you to get it, then? I mean - you were hers, right?” That had been his assumption from the start.
He really should let Finn’s arm go, but for some reason he couldn’t. His tattoo was pulsing faster - or was it his heart was racing and his tattoo was trying to keep up?
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Yet, Poe thought that they-... Yeah, well-... He looked away and shuffled in place, his hand turning to hold Poe's arm, too. "It's someone else. It's all right. It-" It doesn't matter. He couldn't bring himself to go that far. "It's all right."
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“But they didn’t ping you back?” He hated how hopeful he sounded, wetting his lips as he tried to calm down a little. “I thought— look, Finn, I’m sorry. I thought it was Rey. I just figured that she and I—“ he fumbled, heartbeat overwhelmingly loud.
“Am I allowed to tell you, then? Is that okay? I know it’s not- I mean, sure, I might not be your soulmate, but I can’t really say I’m not half glad that they don’t- - I mean, fuck, I’m sorry, this is probably the worst timing—“
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But Poe mentioned soulmates- That he was a little glad about not being his soulmate or glad because Poe wasn't the only one like this or-
Finn moved his hand down Poe's arm, wanting to leave and stay all at once. There was something going on here, some sort of miscommunication that was about to hurt him a lot, so he was already saying the truth before he could stop himself: "Poe, you're my soulmate."
Then the implications hit him, and sudden dread that he'd just lost Poe for good filled his heart. Finn took his hand away. "Sorry."
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“No,” he replied, though it sounded more confused than denying. “No, you’re mine, Finn. You don’t— you don’t feel that way about me, I already—“ But it was slowly dawning on him, his eyebrows raising.
“Wait, but you said yours was activated—- I wasn’t even here—“
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But then he continued and-
That- No, that made no sense. "I'm not yours. Yours activated before I even got one. And mine only just came on when you got back. I could practically feel- No, you know what, I have no idea what's going on."
His feelings were being jerked around, and Finn was starting to get kind of pissed about it. Was Poe his soulmate? There was so much hope bottled into that idea that he couldn't quite believe it to be true. But logic was starting to have it all make sense, to the point that his fingers were shaking with the possibility. "Are you-? How am I-? Are you sure?"
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“There’s a test! There’s a test, just—“ He started stripping off his jacket and rolling up his sleeve.
“If they— they’ll connect, they sync up. They’ll sync our heart beats. That’s what - that’s what I was told, anyway—“
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Questions were flying through Finn's mind faster than he could voice them. Did it not matter if he had the tattoo or not? Could Poe's had activated to him without it? Wait, had Poe wanted this? Wanted him? Why hadn't he been interested before? Was he interested and just didn't say anything? Why?
Finn was dumbfounded, watching Poe undress and roll his sleeve up. "This is possible?" he asked in a quiet, far too hopeful voice, looking back up to Poe's eyes.
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It was clear, seeing them like this, that they were meant to match. Even though they didn't flare at quite the same tempo, it was brighter than he'd ever seen his.
"Little more than possible, I think," he replied, giving Finn a grin as he reached out with his other hand and passed his fingers over the tattoo. His breath hitched, his heart shuddering as the signal reached for Finn's, and then--
And then, it felt like nothing else in the universe. As if he could feel a second heart in his chest, beating at a different rhythm, but then slowly aligning with his. It was almost uncomfortable, but the closer they god, the better it felt...
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Once the heartbeats synced up and steadied out, he looked away from the bright glow of their tattoos to Poe's face. There were no words. He didn't even know what to do except look at the other man with awe, tears in his eyes.
They were soulmates. They couldn't be anything but.
But he did find words eventually in a chocked whisper, afraid of breaking this moment. "Why didn't you tell me?"
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“Didn’t want to lose you,” he murmured. “First I thought - that yours didn’t ping, so that was it. And you and Rey - I mean, you guys are so close. I didn’t want to try to come between you, I figured as long as I could be near you, I could be happy.”
His smile spread so wide it hurt, his heart skipping a beat and he didn’t know if that came from him or from Finn.
He took a step closer other arm reaching out, hand gently cupping Finn’s jaw. “Yeah,” he continued, his voice dropping until it was just for them, “I’m an idiot. Now I know - I had no idea what happiness even felt like.”
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His free hand held Poe's against his jaw, and he stepped forward to rest their foreheads together. Finn closed his eyes and focused on the sound of their heartbeats, the scents that were all Poe. Is this what happiness really was?
"You're not an idiot," he started with. "I didn't want to lose you either... I'm glad that didn't last."
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“I could have been a hell of a lot more romantic about it, if I’d realized.” He breathed for a couple of seconds and then tilted his chin forward - just enough to brush the softest kiss against Finn’s lips.
“... I didn’t need this to tell me that I was in love with you.”
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He didn't know how to say it back and make it mean the same thing. What he felt for Poe was insurmountable, indescribable. How could he possibly convey that in words?
His heart lurched, his grip tightened, and a lone tear may have escaped. "I love you," he softly murmured against Poe's lips, hardly a breath and just as hard to hear, before taking a deep and slightly desperate kiss. First kiss but a lot of effort was involved.
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He met the kiss as well he could - a little clumsily, a little out of practice. No one bothered to have short-term romances, these days, what was the point? It was one-night-stands with other un-activated individuals, or bust. No one wanted their heart broken when the other finally found their soulmate.
Most of Poe's experience was actually as a third - for partners who wanted a taste of something else between them - and it was almost always a lonely experience. A reminder of everything he didn't have.
But he had it now.
He moaned softly into Finn's mouth as the man deepened the kiss, sliding an arm behind Finn's back and pulling him tightly up against himself. He forgot entirely where they were. He didn't care. Everything in the Galaxy had narrowed down to this single, beautiful, perfect point.
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This was permanent. This feeling- Would he always feel like he and Poe were one or would that only happen when they were together? He wasn't sure, but what he did know (or blindly hope) was that this wasn't temporary. Poe was his soulmate and loved him. This was their entire lives.
It was so difficult to imagine the scope of. He never dreamed it would be like this.
His hand tangled into Poe's soft hair, pushing him back a step. He should probably get a hold on himself, Finn reasoned, but he didn't want to try just yet. Just a second more of this. Just a little more.
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But he also knew his parents could be systems apart, and yet they could signal each other with their tattoos. That they could sync their heartbeats from dozens of lightyears away. That once synced, they could close their eyes and be as if they were in the same room.
He'd seen them have silent conversations with each other, not even speaking.
He didn't know if that was normal. He knew it differed between people.
But at the moment?
All he cared about was this.
He stepped backward, Finn's weight pressing him back. And then another, and another, until he felt his shoulder bump gently against the cool glass of the observation window. He came up for air, just for a second, just to grip Finn's face firmly and stare at him. Memorize him. And then he pressed back for another kiss, more desperate than the last.
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And then they were kissing again. His hand braced against the window, leaning into Poe to feel him as one searing line straight down his body. His mind was blank, heartbeats racing. They were made for each other... So cliché to even think but true. Finn's other hand moved beneath Poe's shirt, seeking warm skin and perhaps to feel that other heartbeat elsewhere.
He was obsessed with it.
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Everything was moving very fast, but at the same time, it felt like it had moved far too slow to get there.
He really should have been aware of where they were, but he just couldn't care.
His free hand found the edge of Finn's shirt and tugged it free, his hand sliding up Finn's chest like a mirror image, pressing over the other man's heart.
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This was too much. Everything he was feeling- It was all too much. From being raised to think he'd always be alone, forgotten within minutes of his death, to this. To being wrapped in Poe's arms and feeling his life in him and knowing he'd never be alone again.
"I love you. Poe- I want to show you. I want-" How could he possibly make him know? Finn knew he'd try to tell him for the rest of his life yet never be successful... He bowed his head and found Poe's pulse in his neck, sucking on it and just trying to not think again.
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His fingers splayed, hand pressing firmly against Finn even as he rolled his head to the side, giving Finn better access.
"But anything you want. I want it to. Trust me." His words were almost a purr, just a low deep vibration, his fingers trailing down a little. "... I want you, too."
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Or maybe he was just too overwhelmed about it, nearing closer to panic.
What Finn wanted was something he couldn't really specify at the moment. "Just want you right here," he answered the only truthful thing that could come to mind. "I want to kiss you and touch you and hold you-" And calm down and think about everything and figure out what his life was doing- Then his hips rolled into Poe's, his stiffening cock with it. "I want to see you."
It's okay. He didn't even know what he meant.
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"Hey." Quietly. "Hey, I'm right here. It's okay. This is a lot, right? It's a lot." His hands still cupped around Finn's face he leaned in and pressed his forehead to the other man's, murmuring quietly almost against his lips. "I want all those things too. And we've got time."
It would be easier to say that if his hips didn't shift on their own, if he couldn't feel the outline of Finn's hardening cock against his. "You've got me. I'm right here."
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Though he was almost certain that time was one thing they didn't have. The rest of their lives, however short he thought they might be, was still an overwhelming length of time to be this happy.
He pushed into Poe's hips just like he gently pressed against his forehead, allowing his heart to slow a little and just accept the moment while his hands cradled either side of Poe's jaw. "Sorry," was all he could say other than all of the small, vulnerable things he really wanted to say. "You're here. I know. I know.
"I... just didn't expect all this."
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