;poe

[hatejakku]

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Comments

[hatejakku]

"Poe-" Finn's hand clasped against his shoulder, hoping to cut off that train of thought. "Pretty sure you're not a ghost, okay?" But he wasn't totally sure, not about anything anymore.

"Okay, we know that something happened to you that gave you this. We don't know what or why, but... that's progress. That's something... You can't get mad at the psychologists anymore, though." Easier said than done.

[flightforfreedom]

The hand was far more comforting that it had any right to be, and Poe found himself leaning into the touch.

“They’re going to lock me up, Finn,” he murmured. “If they find out... even Leia won’t be able to stop them. And what am I supposed to do? What if they ask me to stay overnight for observation for some reason, or—“

[hatejakku]

He had no idea what would happen if they asked Poe for that. No idea what to do if they found out.

"One step at a time, okay? We'll handle it," he answered, actually sounding sure. "They won't do any of that for no reason, and they definitely can't make you stay without your permission. If something happens, I'll get to you... All right? They won't- They can't lock you up. I won't let them."

[flightforfreedom]

Poe’s hand raised to clasp Finn’s arm, and he breathed out slowly.

Then he offered a small, pained smile.

“You’ve rescued me once before, so who am I to doubt you,” he murmured quietly. “Sorry. I just feel so... paranoid.”

[hatejakku]

"It's okay." Poe had every right to be paranoid, too. He had a right to be a lot of things lately. "That's all right. They're... not really helping you be anything but paranoid."

He sighed, his hand trailing down Poe's arm rather than letting him go. "Just... trust me. And try to be patient with them. Don't give them a reason."

[flightforfreedom]

“They aren’t going to just let it go,” he murmured.

“They’re going to keep pressing until I snap, and then I—“ He let out a hard breath. “I need to learn to control it when I’m not meaning to use it in the first place.”

[hatejakku]

"We can do that." He wanted to be involved somehow and this one sounded like something that had to be unintentional, meaning it didn't really stop.

"And maybe ways to stay cool under pressure?" Okay, that was meant to be partly a joke, and he smiled a little in the hopes it landed.

[flightforfreedom]

“Heh,” Poe said, not quite a chuckle as a smile flickered at the edge of his lips. He gave Finn’s wrist a squeeze.

“I am completely cool under pressure, always, no matter the circumstance,” he replied wryly, and more than a little sarcastically. “I should give cucumbers lessons.”

[hatejakku]

"A little extra money on the side?" Finn responded with a more honest smile.

Then, more seriously but still keeping the smile, "You're going to be okay, Poe. Don't worry so much."

[flightforfreedom]

Poe let out a slow breath and looked away, the smile fading as his brows furrowed.

“... It’s not... me that I’m worried about, exactly. By all rights, I should be dead. And if I was dead, it’s not like I would be bothered. But this... this isn’t just something that happens, Finn. Something or someone did this to me, and there’s a reason they didn’t want me to remember.”

[hatejakku]

Yeah... He turned more somber. "I know. But there's nothing we can do about that right now. If we can figure out how you can control it, then... maybe we can beat this. Whatever it is."

What little logic remained said that Poe was made into some sort of weapon by an enemy state. Who knew if that was the truth? And if it was, then maybe they could free themselves of it... somehow.

[flightforfreedom]

“Yeah.” He let out a longer sigh and fished out the piece of wood, again, looking at it in his palm.

“Then it’s time to get back to work. And I’m going to need your help.”



Poe didn’t relent, the next few days, and he still spent most of his time outside (“I don’t want to destroy your house by accident”), but he was working hard to include Finn. The request was straightforward - he needed to learn how to split his attention. So for the first little while, he just asked Finn to talk to him while he was trying to move things. It was miserable, at first. Poe couldn’t do both and he was getting increasingly frustrated. But he found that he loved listening to Finn talk - that it kept his mood a lot more even than normal - so he couldn’t send him away. After several days, he finally managed to be able to spin a chip an inch above his pal and talk at the same time, and after that he started picking up things very fast.

They were seated outside, in the sun, the day before Poe’s next scheduled check up, and Poe was spinning two pieces of wood around each other, floating above his palm.

“Okay. I think we need to step up the distraction a notch. You’re going to need to rile me up.”

[hatejakku]

To be honest, at first, Finn was a little afraid to distract Poe. He wanted to help, not be a bother. But becoming an obstacle was part of helping, so he did what he asked. Surprisingly, he found that he enjoyed it. Even when Poe was trying to work, he actually seemed interested in whatever Finn decided to talk about. Before he knew it, he was going into rambles about things he didn't really tell people about, but Poe just made it so easy to speak.

And the progress was astounding. After just a few days, Poe was becoming a natural at this impossible feat.

At the request, Finn's first reaction was torn between a laugh and a grimace. "Like... how? I'm not going to punch you so don't even ask." He might if Poe could make a good argument about it. But surely there was something they could debate about, get heated over. Except Finn didn't really want to get them mad at each other? Hmm...

[flightforfreedom]

His mouth had already half way been open to form the words 'punch me', but Finn halted that in its tracks before he even got it out.

"Well - fine, that would be the easiest way, but..." He frowned. "I don't know. I don't know if it'll really work if I tell you what to do, anyway. Just just have to find something that would throw off my guard. Something that would surprise me."

[hatejakku]

Just kiss him.

The thought came almost unbidden. Almost. It would be surprising, that was for sure. Exactly what Poe was asking for. And Finn didn't want to do something that would hurt him or touch on a subject that was uncomfortable... Really, it was what he should do. That's what the psychiatrists were going to do...

He glanced away and back to Poe again. "Don't be mad?" This was stupid. Poe was definitely going to be mad.

[flightforfreedom]

"Well I mean - if you're going to do something that would make me mad, that's probably a good thing, right?" He asked, pulling his concentration back to to the wood chips orbiting each other above his hand. He waved another one up to join them, making three.

"But I'm literally asking you to do this, Finn, I'm not going to hold anything against you for very long."

[hatejakku]

Finn didn't allow himself another moment of thought. He leaned in and finally kissed Poe like he'd been dreaming about for way too long. At least he could play it off later, right?

Right?

It wasn't a very good kiss, his worry and nerves getting stuck somewhere between, and Finn just as quickly pulled away. "That, um-... How's that?"

[flightforfreedom]

Poe froze, three pieces of wood instantly clattering to the ground at his feet, even though his hand was still extended and raised.

He'd been expecting insults, or a missed punch, or - or something not a kiss - and yet here he was, his lips still tingling where Finn's had left them.

He blinked and then swallowed, trying to shake it off, feeling a heat rising to his cheeks.

"Well that was... effective," he mumbled, embarrassed that something Finn had done purely to surprise him would have such an effect. It wasn't that he hadn't thought about it. Of course he had. He had been thinking about it from nearly the moment they met. He cleared his throat and rubbed a hand through his hair as he looked down at the woodchips. Carefully, they raised through the air back to his hand and he started to make them move again.

He wet his lips.

"I, uh... guess you'll just have to try it again."

[hatejakku]

"Don't know if it'll work if you're not surprised by it," he mumbled. But it was still distracting, right? Was his kissing actually distracting at all?

Wait, why was he arguing with himself?

Pushing the second thoughts aside, Finn pressed their lips together again, trying to turn it into a proper kiss this time. He shouldn't have this at all, really, so he had to make it count... Except he wasn't brave enough to try pouring everything he felt into a single kiss, frenzied and passionate, but he at least tried to do better.

His hand moved up to cup Poe's jaw as he tried to deepen it, the wood chips forgotten, the kiss slow and steady. It probably wasn't the distraction Poe needed, but Finn didn't know if he could provide that...

[flightforfreedom]

He was ready, this time. Or sort of, anyway. He was half expecting another rushed, quick, clumsy kiss - but instead Finn kissed him like he wanted to be there.

The wood dropped instantly, Poe's heart thumping hard in his chest as he pressed back, lips parting as he slid a hand behind Finn's neck, pulling him closer as he pressed the kiss deeper. His heart was starting to race now, all thought of flying woodchips forgotten.

[hatejakku]

Finn, absently, couldn't help but wonder if this was working? Was Poe able to overcome distraction? Were the chips still floating around?

But he felt a hand on his neck and was pulled further into the kiss, so all thoughts about their goal left him, too. He moaned into it instead and began to kiss Poe exactly how he wanted.

It was his only chance, and he could work to steel his heart later when they joked about this. For now, he was pretending that Poe was his, that Poe wanted this as much as Finn did. It was almost nothing to press their bodies together, too. Nothing to drown in this feeling he wasn't even sure was real.

[flightforfreedom]

The moan sent a shiver straight down his spine, and for the first time Poe realised that what he felt wasn’t just some torn, unrequited attraction. That despite all his best efforts to never think about it, never address it, Finn had at least a little of the same feeling too. He broke the kiss for half a second, just to drag in a deep, shaky breath, and then without a word or warning he surged forward once more to kiss Finn long and deep. His hand dropped, pressing into the small of Finn’s back as their bodies lined up against each other.

His heart felt like it was running so fast it might just burst right out of his rib cage.

He didn’t notice when one of the little woodflecks at his feet launched itself into the trees.

[hatejakku]

Poe was taking this further than Finn thought he ever would. But he couldn't start second guessing it all now, not with Poe's hand moving against him, not with them meeting again for another kiss.

His free hand found Poe's back, too, making a fist into his shirt since he was trying so hard to make the kiss stay gentle. His other hand, though, hadn't moved. He reveled against the feeling of rough stubble, Poe's jaw moving against his palm. Intoxicating, just like the rest of him.

"Poe-" The word was practically breathed between them before he was trying to take another desperate kiss. It felt like they wanted the same, and his hands couldn't catch up to the fact that this was pretend, already trying to ruck up his shirt in the search for skin.

[flightforfreedom]

The sound of his name on Finn’s lips like that was enough to drive him crazy, and he groaned against his mouth, skin prickling as it was exposed to the air. He grasped at Finn’s shirt and started tugging as well, but finally his brain caught up to the rest of him and he abruptly pulled back, panting.

“Finn....” he murmured, hating how needy he sounded. He cleared his throat and met Finn’s eyes with the question all too clear on his face.

“I—please tell me this is not just to distract me,” he murmured lowly.

[hatejakku]

His fear wanted to tell Poe that it was, but... the please stopped him cold. It couldn't really be, could it? It had to-

Finn's eyes fell to his lips, unable to hold contact as the fear and doubt rose up again. "It's not," he answered between gasping breaths, the words shaking as they trembled out of his throat. "I-"

The words stopped. There was nothing else to say, nothing else he could really dredge up. His eyes found Poe's again, pleading silently in his rare moment of vulnerability.