lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Poe grimaced like he was stung and took a deep breath.

He still didn’t really know what Finn wanted him to do, how he wanted him to be, but there wasn’t anything for it. The only other options were to leave him completely, or to finish what he started the way he started it. Break Finn.

It was far too long before he replied. “I’ll try.”

"I'll help," Finn promised, finding the thought of letting go to be a difficult one. "For now, we'll just... be like how we were before and take things slow. You'll see. It'll be easy once we figure it out."

That was hope talking. No matter how much he wanted Poe, they had to do it like this first. They had to, no matter what the rest of him thought he needed.

It'll be easy, Finn had said, and a week later Poe thought he'd never heard a more wrong sentence in his life. He'd managed to put the breaks on, sure, and like he suspected, it was easier to do that once they weren't alone anymore. Back on base he had plenty of opportunity to be near Finn without Finn being the only one in the room, and he was starting to relax.

At least part of him was.

But a lot of him was longing for Finn. Being near him but unable to touch him was far more unbearable now that he knew what taking Finn felt like than he had when it was a slow baking fantasy. And seeing anyone near him was driving Poe crazy. It didn't help that even if he wanted a minute alone with Finn, he didn't seem able to get it. Or that if he could get a minute alone he was almost too scared to take it.

It was driving him mad.

Which is why when they were working in the hangar - both stripped down to greasy tank-tops and rolled up pants, Poe could barely keep his eyes off of Finn. The slight sheen of sweat, the mark of grease across his brow from where he'd rubbed the back of his hand over it... Poe felt like he was going to explode.

So if he was staring openly and hungrily, who cared?

"I think you might have an admirer," one of the techs working with Finn said under her breath, leaning in with a smirk. "I think he's done more watching you than watching his own work in the last four hours. You want me to throw a wrench at him?"

Finn thought that once they were out of the ship, the nightmare of their time on it would leave him behind, literally like a dream. But it didn't. It lingered. He thankfully hadn't seen the ship at all since they had gotten back to base but he was almost certain it wouldn't matter. Everything in his mind was still a mess, his feelings still longing for something he couldn't reach.

The guilt and shame clung to him, making it nearly impossible to sleep.

Then there was Poe, the real Poe who he didn't want to give up on. But Finn needed time to recenter himself, time away from him, but he couldn't really afford that. He could always feel Poe's eyes on him, whether the other man was there or not. A part of Finn liked it and he despised himself a little more.

After a week of hardly anything going on between them, he began to wonder if he should relent. Just a little, just enough to show he was also giving something away for their... relationship. They both had to work at this, right? And he would never know if they were going to grow in their sex lives if he never touched the subject again. Besides, maybe the reality of Poe holding back would help ease Finn's nightmares.

Never mind the fact that he still desperately wanted him... and hated it.

He was thinking on just that, mind away while his hands stayed busy when a tech came over to smirk about the situation. Finn looked up to him but didn't bother looking back at Poe. He already knew. It hadn't been intentional, but he knew. "No, no," Finn shook his head, glancing between this work and the tech. Despite himself, he couldn't help a tiny smile. Poe was doing good in restraint, at least. He did deserve something. "We're almost done here, anyway. Thanks, though. I'll let you know if I need a wrench thrown across the room."

"Alright," The tech replied, amused, giving Finn one last glance before wandering off.

It took everything in Poe's power not to lob something at their head for talking to him in the first place. He didn't catch what was said, but the only reason he wasn't beside himself with fury right now was the fact that Finn had sent them packing pretty quickly. A surge of possessive affection welled in him, and he finished what he was working only to step over to where Finn was.

"Coming along okay?" He wanted his voice to be casual but there was a low, questioning edge to it that he couldn't quite erase.

Finn glanced up at him, noticing not for the first time how striking Poe looked out here like this. He tried to keep his mind on it instead of forcefully turning away from that desire. Poe deserved something from him, right?

But maybe not right now. Poe was asking something, and Finn wasn't sure what it was really about. The tech, most likely. Finn feigned ignorance and glanced back to his work. "Yeah, it's good. Just-" He finished up the last few things in hardly a few seconds, replacing the panel. "Done... You okay?"

That look. He knew that look. He was hit with a sudden clarity of focus: Finn wanted it.

No. No, Poe. Finn doesn't want that, from you. Not - not from you, not like this, not even if he's begging you to fuck him with his eyes--

He swallowed, roughly. "Yeah. Yeah, I - I'm fine. Just wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere and...." He wet his lips. "... Eat something."

He could see it plain as day, how controlled Poe was being. For anyone else, it would be ridiculous, but for Poe- This was huge for him, a big step, and Finn wanted to reinforce that so much.

"Yeah," he answered but, uh- "Actually... I thought we could talk somewhere. You have a minute?"

"Yes," Poe replied immediately, something like hope starting to flare in his chest. 'Something' being the operative word, because really, it was just an awful lot of lust.

"Now?"

"Now," Finn answered, jerking his head to doors that led outside the hanger. He would ask if Poe didn't really mind, but that 'yes' was all he really needed.

He led the way, thinking that was a stupid idea and dumb thing to do in a supply closet, but he didn't want to do this in either of their rooms. Couldn't stand the thought of ruining his room like that for himself. It was a safe place, away from this sort of thing.

As soon as the thought entered, he realized that this was a bad idea but swallowed down the fear. If he wanted them to become anything in the future, he had to get out of his comfort zone.

So, yeah, he led Poe to a supply closet, thankful that no one was around to see how obvious this was. "Just wanted to talk," he firmly reiterated... but- "For now."

He was already half hard, by the time they got into the closet.

Just wanted to talk, Finn said, and it took everything in him not to reply 'No you don't' immediately. He had to literally bite down on his tongue.

"Alright," He said instead, the restraint tight in his voice. "... What... did you want to talk about?"

He could feel how close Poe was to snapping, deciding to get this rolling quickly. Then another, darker thought occurred to him... Was he only doing this now to avoid being forced by Poe later?

No, he couldn't do that to himself. Finn pushed the thought down and turned to Poe after the door was shut.

"We talked about communication before, about setting boundaries and only going as far as we agreed. I think you're ready to try. Do you think so? Or do you want that at all?"

Maybe he was the one reading Poe wrong now. But that's okay because of the magic of communication.

“Yes,” he replied, a little tightly, a little too quickly. Was he fully processing the question, or just trying to skip to the point where he finally got some release? Unclear.

“I can barely think about anything other than you,” he admitted in a low rush.

The words sent a shiver through him, stuttering his breath. He wanted this, too, and it couldn't really be denied. But he had to set boundaries, if not to test Poe then just for his own sanity. "No penetration," he said bluntly and meant it. He didn't want anything remotely that close, not... right now.

Then Finn took a deep breath and stepped closer. "Otherwise... it depends on what you want."

No penetration. Okay. Okay, he could work with that. Just the thought of not being able to bury himself in Finn’s body was making his balls ache, but he could get his release otherwise.

“You know what I want,” Poe replied, his voice getting lower. He reached out, carefully hooking a finger into Finn’s belt loop and drawing him closer. “I want to make you feel so good that you whimper my name when you finally come.”

Finn swallowed, a whole lot of regret starting to overwhelm him. Sometimes, it felt like sex was all Poe cared about between them. It certainly seemed to be all he wanted. Finn wanted more than that.

But this was still something that was much harder to pass up than it should be. "I want that, too," he answered in a hushed breath, thrilled and scared all at once. He had to push away every other thought before moving in for a kiss, hoping his mind could quiet for a little while.

That was one of the things he was really hoping for out of this. To go back into that state where his mind was just silent.

Whatever feeling Poe was expecting to feel at those words, it was not what he got. He suddenly felt a deep rush of relief, of longing, but not of the kind he was used to. He had been built up to respond sexually to everything - that was what the Admiral had wanted, and what the man had done so much to perfect. But the way that Finn said that made Poe's heart ache, rather than his cock.

It fluttered in his chest and he couldn't stop himself - surging forward to steal a hard, deep kiss, sliding an arm around Finn's back and pulling him tight up against him.

Finn moaned into the kiss despite himself. He forgot how good this could feel when he wasn't panicking, and all they had done so far is kiss. But panic was just there on the edge of his vision, concerned again by how much Poe wanted.

That wasn't a concern, though, he reminded himself. He was giving Poe permission to do this. More than that-

Finn kissed back, trying to make his mind quiet so he could do this. One hand pressed into Poe's chest, fiddling with the shirt as his fingers tried to find the hem. Once lower, his other hand tugged on Poe's waistband, already working to get his pants open. If he was forward enough, wanted enough, then they could do this his way.

Poe's hand snapped out, almost automatically, snatching Finn's wrist and pulling it away from him, his heart suddenly racing a million miles a minute.

He pulled back, confusion flashing on his face as he abruptly let go again.

"Sorry--" He stammered, his brows furrowing tightly. "I didn't mean to-- I don't know why I did that--"

Finn was much more shocked than offended or hurt by the sudden movement. Isn't this what Poe wanted?

"It's okay, it's okay," he quickly counseled. "You didn't do anything wrong. I did. Tell me what I shouldn't do." Poe didn't want him to touch him? That was fine, he could do that.

But not understandable, though, after everything that had happened. Did even Poe think Finn was too messed up for this?

"That's not - that's not your job," Poe said, but he sounded more confused than anything.

Confused and scared.

He was not used to his own reactions coming out of nowhere.

He felt a little queasy and took a step back, the realisation washing over him.

"I can't do this. I don't know how to do this, Finn-- You shouldn't trust me--"

"That's all right. You're okay." This was too soon for him. For them both, really, but Finn had thought he was the only one.

He stepped forward despite feeling like Poe was recoiling from him. Yeah, he was messed up, but for some stupid reason, he was desperate to not lose Poe like this. So he tried to step close, tried to rest his hands on Poe's arms.

"I do trust you, but we don't have to do this. We can go slower or try again later or never do this at all, okay? But I trust you and I know we can both learn."

He didn't stop him, though the touch made it all too clear that Poe was practically quivering with pent up energy.

"It's driving me crazy," He admitted in a hushed whisper. "I do want it. Of course I do. I can barely-- I can barely control it, I want it so badly." He swallowed. "But the things I want to do to you, I--"

He faltered, and his cock was straining in his trousers, nearly tenting them.

"I don't know if these are the things I want or if it's- if it's what I was trained to want."

Yeah... Yeah, Finn was starting to understand that far too well. He glanced down to Poe's chest and was silent for a moment, wondering if they really should just call this whole thing off. But would they just be stuck like this forever if he did?

"Tell me exactly what you want." Discussion, compromise- That had to be the way to handle this.

He swallowed, leaning forward a little to press their foreheads together.

“For a few minutes, I want to be the only thing that exists in your universe,” he whispered quietly. “I want everything else to fall away when we’re together until all you feel is pleasure. I want you to love me more than anything, I want to be with you every moment.” He let out a shaky breathe. “That’s what I really want.” Tentatively, he raised a hand, fingers grazing Finn’s jaw gently.

“And I almost destroyed that completely. So I don’t— I don’t want to tell you what’s going through my head right now, Finn. Because I’m pretty sure you won’t love me if I do.”

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t-t-time skip

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