;poe

[hatejakku]

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Comments

[hatejakku]

Oh, he'd said something wrong. Finn cleared his throat again and looked away, feeling awkward and out of place. "Yeah. Well, like I said, I really hope it works out."

And he should leave, clearly. "We should hang out sometime, you know. Just the two of us, like old days." Or he could do that. The fear of losing Poe still had him, apparently, but he didn't give a really big chance for a response. "Anyway, I'll leave you to it. There's somewhere I have to be that I totally forgot about."

[flightforfreedom]

It almost left Poe with a bit of whiplash, and he kicked himself inwardly for being an idiot.

“Uh- Yeah. I’d like that. A lot. I’ll take you flying, if you want.” Fucking idiot.

“No problem, buddy. Go uh- go have a good time.” Clearly being around Poe was too awkward to be bareable, and he wasn’t going to force him to stay.

“Hit me up later.”

[hatejakku]

Flying. Finn smiled wide at the idea, his heart squeezing in pain. He couldn't do it but he couldn't turn it down. "That sounds perfect." If only it was-... Anyway.

"Yeah, I- I will. I'll see you later."

And with that, he turned and began to walk away, resolutely not looking back. His whole idea of successfully getting over Poe was clearly not as far along as he thought it was. If not outright failing entirely.

He itched to text HOTSHOT again but felt entirely too guilty about it. The guy was amazing and didn't deserve to be a- a rebound or whatever. He deserved all of Finn.

So he took a deep breath and decided to wait until his head was a little clearer, swiftly making his way... literally anywhere that wasn't around Poe.

[flightforfreedom]

Poe, on the other hand, had an almost immediate and opposite response.

He needed to get over Finn. He needed to. He was making things weird between them, and it was only going to get worse.

So he cursed himself lowly and then dug out his comm and found somewhere private and quiet to go sit.

hey, you around?

[hatejakku]

Finn's phone chimed and he stopped walking, eyes falling closed. It wasn't annoyance at HOTSHOT but more guilt and self-hatred. He deserved so much better than whatever mess Finn was right now.

But he was probably the only one in the galaxy who understood.

always

Feeling very bitter with himself, he kept walking until he found a secluded enough area far away from where he'd last seen Poe.

[flightforfreedom]

kind of having a rough day

He'd never tell that to anyone else. Not Finn, who would then see through the thick facade he'd been putting up, and not his squadron, who'd probably just mock him. Somehow, TROOPER had become someone he tell anything to, and he didn't even know the man's name.

you know when you
just really want to be happy for someone

like you honestly really really do

but

yeah

sorry i don't know

i know what i said before about waiting for the right moment but

what if it just isn't going to be the right moment until we make it

[hatejakku]

you can't help how you feel

Finn wasn't doing a great job of telling himself that. He really was happy for Poe, it just-... Ugh. He scrubbed at his eyes, reminding himself that this was about HOTSHOT and probably had little to do with his own friend.

... Wait, had he just-

are you asking me out?

you're not asking me just because you're upset right?

For both of their sakes.

[flightforfreedom]

i am floating the option of asking you out when i'm no longer upset

because

i guess part of why i was holding off was this stupid idea that maybe something would change?

but it's not going to

and you know what? that's okay

because i'm sitting there, feeling stupid, and i realised, like

here i am hung up over someone who obviously doesn't care about me at all, and all i can think of is that i feel guilty even being here when i could be talking to you, instead

like realising i've got this amazing, beautiful thing right here in front of me and i'm too much of an idiot to see it



plus i

look i don't know about you, but even if this doesn't work out
i still feel like

i'd want to know you

really know you

regardless of anything else

[hatejakku]

... Oh. His reply takes a second since he's pretty emotional right now.

we have to do something to make it happen
i understand
you're right

i
i dont know if im really all that
i dont want to get your expectations up

but i want to know you too
spend time with you and get to know you and have you in my life

[flightforfreedom]

think i've already been able to make that judgement for myself
pretty sure my expectations are exactly as high as they should be

and it's not like we don't both know where we're at, here

i won't hold it against you if you decide it's too fast, or if you just want to be friends. even that, i'll consider a win.


so

tomorrow

i'll message you

and we'll make a date

sound good?

[hatejakku]

that sounds perfect

And he meant that just as emphatically as he had said to Poe not very long ago.

start thinking about where you'd like to meet because i'm pretty sure i already know my answer

[flightforfreedom]

i've got a couple ideas

one involves green rolling hills :)

i'm going to go, i've got stuff i've got to do for work, i just
didn't want to wait to talk to you

and i'm glad i didn't


tomorrow

i'm looking forward to it

[hatejakku]

i already like the green rolling hills plan :)

can't wait

Finn let out a long breath, entire body slumping, though he had a happy smile on his face. Then he remembered Poe's plan about flying and... his features fell a little.

He'd text Poe later that night. For now, he had a date to look forward to, as well.

[flightforfreedom]

He almost just left it there, watching the little green 'online' dot next to TROOPER's name.

But then, impulsively, before he could second guess himself, he sent a quick:

<3

And then he signed off before he could see a response.

Idiot.

He leaned back against the wall, his chest a weird mix of excitement and anxiety at the same time. It would be fine. He needed this. He needed to know, for better or worse, if this was something he could do. He already cared about this guy, he just... needed to know if he could love him, too. If he could finally leave Finn behind him and move on.

He just needed to find them a ride, now.



True to his word, he wanted until the next day. But then, right around noon, he hopped back online and sent the following message.

no longer upset

still feel the same



go out with me

[hatejakku]

yes

a thousand times yes

<3

He had been waiting all night and day for this text, still the only light in his life that was overwhelming enough to block out the grief of slowly losing Poe. He couldn't stop smiling like a goof at the message and the cute little heart.

They were finally going to meet. He couldn't let himself dwell on anything else right now except for HOTSHOT.

where do you want to go?

we can go anywhere now

[flightforfreedom]

His heart did a weird little flutter, and he found himself grinning, unable to stop.

well i figured out where i knew that picture from

and it's only about a two hour hyperflight away, so

feel like taking a day trip?

[hatejakku]

Yes!
i can't believe you found it! i definitely want to go yes

when and where should we meet

Two hours stuck together on a ship... He really hoped that HOTSHOT liked him in person.

[flightforfreedom]

Poe typed in the coordinates for a little commercial hanger in the nearby city, where he'd managed to secure a rental for a small freighter for a couple days (just in case something went wrong and he couldn't return it day of).

any time you're ready

i took the next couple days off, just in case, so

whenever you want to go

just come on down

i'll be here

[hatejakku]

would it be crazy if i wanted to go right now

would that be weird

we can go whenever obviously
i just
i cant wait
i cant wait to see you

[flightforfreedom]

well i'm already down here getting the ship prepped, so

come on down any time :)

It wasn't a huge ship - about the size of a small imperial shuttle, if nothing like it in shape. And Poe wasn't lying - he was currently busying himself (and BB-8) with going over every inch of the thing and making sure someone hadn't just rented him a death trap.

That's where he'd still be, whenever TROOPER showed up, chatting excitedly with BB-8 and saying something like: "Actually the rear stabilizer is in better condition than most of our X-wings, I can't even complain--"

[hatejakku]

Finn excitedly got ready, getting together a small bag and trying really hard to make himself look decent, before running off to the hangar where HOTSHOT waited for him.

The whole way, he kept trying to imagine what he looked like without mixing his features with Poe's. It was actually a little difficult, which made him want to see him all the more.

The hangar didn't have very many people hanging around, and none of them seemed to be in any jovial mood or like they were waiting for someone. His search was quickly whisked away when he heard a very familiar voice, his heart smashing into his ribs. But he-

He turned a corner to make sure, only to find Poe and BB-8 talking. "Poe?"

No, he- He couldn't be here. Finn didn't know how he was going to handle meeting HOTSHOT with Poe literally here of all places.

[flightforfreedom]

"Finn?"

The confusion was obvious in his voice as he stepped back down, looking over at the one person who could easily bring this whole mission to a screeching halt just by saying he wasn't happy about it.

"What are you - what are you doing here? Who told you I was here?"

He hadn't told anyone other than BB-8 and TROOPER where he was going. He didn't want to get derailed and disturbed...

[hatejakku]

"No one!" A little too loud there. He stood a little straighter, too, like he was in trouble. Maybe he would be. What if Poe and HOTSHOT did meet? What if Poe didn't like him?

"I- Sorry. I didn't know you were here. I was supposed to meet someone." But he couldn't just... run away right now, could he? Finn did at least glance around but saw no new faces. "I didn't mean to disturb... whatever you're up to."

[flightforfreedom]

"I'm waiting for someone." Poe said, frowning deeply.

Force, he didn't want to talk about this. Not with Finn. Not before he could even try. But he couldn't exactly not, right?

"I'm -- look, Finn, normally I'd be overjoyed to see you here, but I - I'm supposed to be going on a date." He said it a little fast, as if trying to force it all out. "I'll take you flying later, alright?"

[hatejakku]

"I-" I'm going on a date, too, he wanted to share. Didn't really seem right, though, to come back with that. Not when Poe just wanted him gone.

And isn't that what Finn wanted, too? To just run away?

Didn't mean the words hurt any less. His heart felt shredded, being left to the side like this even though he knew the logic behind it all. How could he meet HOTSHOT now and still be even close to what the other deserved?

"Right! Of course. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. Um- Good luck, okay? I'll catch you later." He quickly turned and left, a little more promptly than he had yesterday, making a beeline for the entrance to the hangar.

He'd just wait and stay as far away from Poe as possible. It would... be okay. As soon as he met HOTSHOT the rest would just fall into place. It would be okay.