lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yes I can," Poe whispered with utter conviction, his hands coming up to frame Finn's face, pinned between them.

"This isn't it. I know it. I don't know what - what we'll be after this, or where we'll be, or how much of us will be left, but I--" He swallowed, smoothing a hand over Finn's hair, pressing his fingers between tight curls. "It doesn't matter. Because I'll find you. And I'll never let you go again."

He can't promise something like that.

But Finn didn't want to think about what was going to happen or what they should have done. Poe said he was going to find him, then Poe was going to find him. It should be that simple.

His hands tightened, suddenly so grateful that they had Right Now. His eyes grew warm from all this talk, and he blinked a tear away to trail down his cheek, but-

One hand went around Poe's neck to pull him into another kiss, hoping he'd ignore the tears. "We'll find each other," he promised in a low voice, barely parting the kiss before moving back in.

He just wanted to ignore it. He just wanted to know nothing.

He couldn't ignore them completely. Of course he couldn't. He wanted to scrub them from Finn's face - cover him with kisses until they disappeared. But his own eyes were growing hot, just from looking at Finn's face, and the low, rough promise between fierce, hard kisses broke him, as well.

But maybe if he didn't say anything about Finn's tears, the man wouldn't say anything about his own.

His heart was slamming so hard in his chest that he could feel it in his throat, and he pushed the feeling down as firmly as he could, kissing Finn back with a passion that leaned into desperation, fingers tangling in his shirt as Poe deepened the kiss.

Neither of them could promise it. Of course they couldn't. But Poe had to believe it.

He had to.

They'd be luminous.

Finn wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe that they'd exist, that they could find each other again once this life was over. It was difficult to hold down, but he wanted to believe it so badly.

He felt more than saw Poe's tears and he gasped into the kiss, pressing against him harder. If only this could be his everything right now. If only just this existed.

"Lo- Love you- Please-"

Poe knew how he felt. What was the point of not saying it now? Though, he was certain that if Poe said it back, he probably wouldn't believe it. Not completely. Just like he was trying so hard to believe their happy future. He didn't even know what he was asking for, not really. For all of it to be true, he supposed.

It clenched in his chest, almost painfully, the regret so sharp as to be overwhelming. He'd wasted it. It had been right here, right at his side, this whole time, and he'd wasted it.

"I love you so much, Finn," he whispered back, his voice thick even as he swallowed around the words, even as they were pressed so close that he couldn't tell where his heart beat ended and Finn's began. He felt the back of his thighs hit the edge of the table, and he gripped Finn harder, surging forward for a kiss even as he pulled Finn down against him. "I love you so much, I should have been telling you every day--"

Well... he was right. He wasn't sure he believed it. Not the way Poe meant, anyway.

That said- "You did. Every day." Finn knew he'd been cared for. He never once doubted that Poe cared about him, loved him at least in that way. Always made sure he had everything he needed, always stayed at his side and defended his back, always came to him with a smile and laugh. Poe kept him company. He kept him happy. What they had on Earth was a good life, and Finn could never regret that.

"Every day," he repeated, voice choked, pressing harder into Poe until they were both falling to the tabletop. He didn't know where this was going. Didn't care to think about it either. They were together and loved and- What else could he really ask for?

"Not enough," Poe choked out. He knew it. Finn didn't have to say it. It had never been enough. It had always been held back, guarded. Restrained. For what?

For what?

He grunted as he hit the table, pulling Finn's body flush down against his own. It was only then that he realised he was hard, but it was almost an afterthought. He just wanted to be with Finn. He didn't care how. He wanted to be with Finn, as the universe dissolved around them.

"Not nearly enough," he breathed, taking Finn's mouth again, wrapping his limbs and gripping him tightly against himself, as if he could mold them together.

He didn't really know how to respond to that so he shook his head instead. It had been enough for what was between them. It was more than Finn ever thought he'd get. Even if they weren't romantically involved, he knew that they once had been and, sometimes, that was enough.

"You did," he repeated himself, pressing their hips together and pulling at Poe's clothes. He was hard, Poe was hard, so why not? Poe had been talking about wasted time, and Finn had to make up for all that in whatever time they had left. They shouldn't have regrets, not if they were still alive now. "I love you."

Finn was pulling at his clothes and it was like he had slid a key into a lock, and given Poe the final elements of his freedom. He couldn’t initiate it himself, but was soon as Finn did, that was permission. He moaned lowly against Finn’s mouth as heir hips pressed together - he could feel how hard Finn was even through layers of cloth, and it just made him harder in return.

“I love you,” he echoed breathlessly, fingers digging into clothing and pulling sharply, suddenly determined to get everything off him. He wanted his and Finn’s atoms to be so close as to be indistinguishable from each other. “I love you so much, Finn. I love you—“

He didn't want to wonder if Poe was telling the truth anymore. That whenever they might find each other again, Poe could change his mind. But they would find each other. They had to. And Poe did love him in some way.

At least his mind was starting to shut up enough to let him pretend.

Finn's jacket and shirt had quickly vanished before he started working on Poe's shirt, one hand already trying to manage his belt. The clothes were separating them. Whether they were about to do more or not, he just wanted to be close. He wanted to feel Poe against him. He just wanted this.

His heart was thundering in his chest. He didn't know how much time they had left and he almost didn't care - every second of it was already dedicated to Finn. He didn't want to be anywhere else. He clumsily tossed Finn's shirt off, then fumbled with his belt, tossing that off to the side too. The hard wood of the boardroom table beneath him would bruise, probably, but he couldn't care about that either.

He wasn't exactly going to live long enough to see the bruises.

He got Finn's fly open and pushed his pants down his hips before getting his hands around Finn's ass and pulling him sharply against him. The outline of Finn's hard cock was even clearer against his own and he groaned, eyes falling shut.

"W-Wait--" He suddenly said, pausing.

He could feel a weight on his chest that shouldn't be there, anymore.

Wait? For what? What time did they have left?

But no, Finn pushed the melancholy logic aside and suddenly found the term a little more freeing. It felt like they did have time, that there was still room to make mistakes and fix them.

Even with that knowledge, Finn's heart hammered hard in chest, thinking Poe was about to take it all back already. If it was honest, it'd be okay. Even though the fear of being alone, something that hadn't managed to grip him in a long time, suddenly flared again through his veins like burning ice.

But he stopped, pulling away from Poe to pant and look down at him, trying to remember every inch of him during however much time he had left.

Given the space, Poe's hand immediately went to the chain at his throat, clumsily and quickly undoing the clasp. He pulled it free from his neck and then took Finn's hand and pressed the ring into his palm, closing Finn's fingers around it tightly.

"It was my mom's," he explained quickly. "Should have given it to you the moment I knew. It's yours."

"Wh-What?" The ring he wore around his neck all the time? His mother's ring?

"I can't-" He tried to say, voice a touch high. He couldn't take Poe's connection to his mother, not now of all the times. Even troopers who couldn't remember their parents still called for their mothers when they were still young. Why would Poe- "It's your mom's. Why-?"

"It's yours," He insisted quickly, reaching up to take Finn's face between his hands and then arching up to steal a kiss and try to bring him back down with him.

"You don't have to - it was her wedding ring, and I know I can't ask that, but at the very least you should have it. I'm not letting anything happen to you without it."

Oh. He understood. Maybe not completely, but he gathered enough.

It was such an important piece of symbolism and history, though. It shouldn't belong to him. He didn't really feel like he had the right. Desperately trying to get close to someone you cared about in your last moments wasn't... this. This was- He wasn't sure what this was.

But Poe wanted him to have it, and it cemented something in his chest that told him all of this was true. Poe loved him, Poe missed him, Poe would find him. Overwhelmed again, he shuddered and tried to ignore his new tears, fumbling with the ring but managing to slip it on a finger.

Finn was back down, pressed against him, but he wasn't resuming what they were doing before. He didn't have to force himself to be distracted if the truth was weighted band around his finger. Instead, he looked down at Poe and desperately wished they could make it all up to each other.

"It would have been yes," he breathed into the stillness of the room, finally feeling a silent calm that wasn't in a rush, the seconds feeling as if they had finally slowed down. "If you asked." Not that there was time, but his answer remained.

He let out a breath that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh, his eyes suddenly brimming with moisture. Force, he was a fool.

“Yeah?” He asked dumbly, his voice thick and choked. “Okay. Okay— Marry me, Finn,” he whispered, a pained smile drawing so wide across his face that it wasn’t only his heart that hurt. “I’ll ask again, later, I promise, but marry me now, too.”

For some reason, this is what made everything finally seem like the end. It wasn't panic or guilt or regret, though. All he felt was a calm acceptance. Just a resounding finally.

"Yeah," he repeated, slowly leaning back in to take a slower kiss this time. "Of course. Of course, I'll marry you. Of course. I love you."

He wasn't sure where the calm was from. Proof that Poe loved him or proof he wouldn't be alone. But he was thankful, either way.

Poe didn't feel calm. He felt like he had a flock of tiny birds trapped in his ribcage. But Finn's calm had an effect on him, and those birds slowly began to quiet down as Finn kissed him.

He'd left it too late, he always did. But at least he made it, in the end.

He grasped Finn's hand, fingers curling around Finn's so that he could feel the thick metal band against Finn's skin. Just to remind himself that Finn had put it there.

"Can't really give you the little house on Yavin that I meant to," He said, trying to make a joke, smiling with watery eyes.

Finn saw the opening for a joke but couldn't take it for that. The words hurt more than they probably should have, Poe's unshed tears making the pain double.

"We'll find it later," he answered sincerely. He had to believe that now or his last moments wouldn't be nearly as pleasant. "You'll just show me later," he continued, punctuating the idea with another kiss.

"Yeah," He whispered, Finn's sincerity cutting through his fear, those little birds slowly settling. He slipped his hands around Finn's head, thumbs brushing his cheeks and fingers pushing into his hair. "Yeah, I will," he murmured, leaning up to kiss him again.

"I know I will. Even if we don't remember this, I already knew I wanted to take you there. I already knew I didn't want a life without you."

That hurt. "You should. You should want it regardless." He pressed kisses to Poe's skin, his calm wavering.

"I'll be there, anyway, though. You can't shake me that easily, Dameron, all right? We'll find it together."

"Trust me, I'm not going to shake you," he said, almost laughing. But it wasn't really a laugh.

"I'm right here, Finn. I'm not going anywhere. Even if I have to fuse my atoms to yours, I'm not going anywhere."

Maybe he should find the thought a little disturbing but it was something he welcomed with open arms right now. Finn pressed down against Poe again, burying his face into his neck as if he could closer just by willing it.

"Good. Then we won't have to find each other again, because I'm not going anywhere either."

He turned his head, kissing Finn's hair as the man's face was buried against him, just holding him for a long minute. He didn't say anything for a while. Just held him. But eventually, he shifted, and murmured:

"... Kiss me?"

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