lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Finn didn't want to tell Poe what was going with this dating app. He didn't want to see Poe cheer him on or brush it off or anything he'd typically do. Besides, he kinda wanted to keep this all to himself, leave Poe completely out of it.

It was getting easier to avoid him. No, not avoid. Get a little distance, he supposed. Finn would fix it once he was better with this. Just for a few days. It wasn't like Poe was making it difficult. He seemed so distracted lately...

Finn tried to keep telling himself that this distance thing really was something he was doing on purpose.

For now, he tried to distract himself with his new friend, smiling at the new text but... grimacing, too.

that sounds pretty flirty haha

honestly i just havent been interested in anyone who was interested in me. there was someone, one of my best friends, but that's just how life goes i guess. but no gaggle of fans, trust me. im kind of awkward in person.

i could ask the same for you, though. you're this incredible and still single? is the gaggle of fans you've seen your own?

Alright, maybe a little flirty. Can you blame me?

ah, man, well i know that feeling.

honestly, all cards on the table here , but

been in love with my best friend for a while. he just doesn’t feel the same way about me. but basically everyone i know falls for the guy, so

i know that’s a weird thing to admit on a dating site, but

i figured it’s better to be honest about where i’m at. trying to move on, not succeeding very well

till now, i guess

but that’s why i haven’t just asked you on a date already
even though i kind of already really want to

Finn's heart fell, dragging hope down with it. Falling for someone else who still wasn't into him was just like his karma.

But he had no room to feel that way. He understood the situation better than most. After all, he was doing the same damn thing.

Finn took a deep breath and decided to be brave even if he kind of just wanted to stop texting the other man to protect himself.

i understand

i joined this site to get over him but now i just keep coming back for you. this has pretty much become the highlight of my day, you know. i hope that isnt weird to say

thats also why i haven't asked you on a date either but i definitely kind of already really want to

it isn't

pretty sure i've been nearly shirking duty just to talk to you, so

i think the feeling is pretty mutual

and while normally i would say 'hey that means we should definitely go on a date'

is it weird to say that i kind of

i'd like to do this right?

i want to be able to take you out and not have a shadow hanging over us

and for the first time in years i feel like maybe i could do that, soon, thanks to you

honestly i wanted the same thing but didnt know how to say it. just seems like we should rush into it if it feels right, not waste time, but i dont want to screw it up either

i want you to have everything you deserve and i want to wait until i know i can give that to you

and i know i can or i at least want the chance to try. there arent very many people like you in this galaxy you know

now who's flirting :)

but yeah

honestly, i feel the same way

haha damn it though i really do kind of want to go on a date now

fell right into my own damn trap

but we shouldn't rush it. it's not like there's a war on, after all :)

You're right. we have all the time in the galaxy

It didn't feel like it. This peacetime felt more like a reprieve than something real and permanent. He was anxious to make the most of it, to meet this mystery guy and get on with the happiness they could have. Who knew how long any of this would last?

But he didn't say that. Those were things he knew he shouldn't say. Not when everyone was so damn happy.

It was nice, though, to have the most important thing in his life now be romance. His encounters with Poe, on the other hand, were getting farther apart, seemed almost stale in comparison. He realized with a sudden wave of sadness that he wasn't the only person doing the avoiding here.

He couldn't have that. He couldn't lose Poe. Get over him, yes, sure, but he couldn't lose the relationship they had.

"Hey, man," Finn clapped Poe's shoulder to announce himself, giving a smile he only mostly felt. "Been kept busy lately?"

Poe didn’t even notice his approach, lost somewhere in his own head as he composed a message to send to TROOPER later. He spent a lot of time doing that, these days. So he actually started a little when Finn’s hand landed on his shoulder.

He turned with a sheepish laugh.

“Hey, buddy. I, Ah- yeah. Actually.” He’d taken to avoiding Finn more and more, as he kept catching glimpses of him looking like he was walking on clouds somewhere. He knew he should be happy that Finn was happy. He should. So by the Force he was going to fake it until he made it.

He gave Finn a bright smile.

“You’ve seemed pretty busy yourself, so I didn’t want to bother you with it, but uh - BB-8’s been bugging me to get out there, so. You know. Maybe I’ll have some good news soon.”

Finn was just about to argue that he's never too busy for Poe, just totally throw all of his avoidance issues right under the bus, when it registered what else he was talking about. Poe was getting out there. And was so excited that it was the first thing out of his mouth.

Poe had found someone.

Finn's heart lurched, overwhelming despair mingling with the disappointment that he wasn't over him yet. But he tried very hard not to show it and gave as happy a smile as he could. It didn't really reach his eyes, but he was trying.

"Hey, that's great. About time, right? With the war over, I guess everyone's trying to find their place and settle." He shrugged and looked away from Poe, really not wanting to run away from this. It was inevitable. Instead, he switched to the only topic that could help him right now. "I've, uh, kinda been doing the same thing, too. Things are going pretty good so far."

Poe didn't even falter.

He'd known it. He'd seen it. He'd seen the dumb, goofy looks on Finn's face when he didn't think anyone was looking. It was like hearing that the weather was bad. He already knew. He'd been standing in the rain this whole time.

"Yeah, I kind of picked up on that," He teased, nudging the other man with his elbow. "Keep seeing you grinning to yourself. Honestly thought you'd figured that all out months ago, but, hey, sometimes slow and steady is the way to go." But he can't help but feel a little bitter that Rey would string Finn on this long.

He gave a little laugh and then looked away. "I don't know about settling. I don't sit well, but. I don't know. I don't know if it'll really go anywhere, but it's... It's nice. Been a while."

Finn smiled warmly down at the ground. Whoever HOTSHOT really was, he was making Finn happy. It was nice to know it was showing and actually nice that Poe seemed to approve. He kind of thought that would hurt more. It does hurt but- Anyway.

"I don't think I was ready months ago." Still carried a very strong torch for Poe in those days, hoping something would come of it. Not the case. "With the war over, more things are just falling into place."

It was a little hard to imagine Poe settling for good. He was still in his prime, after all, probably would be for the next several years. Not to mention how much he enjoyed his work. "If it's the right person, settling won't mean stopping. You know? I'm happy for you. I hope it works out."

He was. And he did. Didn't matter if it still weighed heavy on him.

Seeing that warm little smile physically hurt, but Poe actually was glad, in a way. As much of a selfish dick as he could be, he wanted Finn to be happy.

Sure, he'd prefer he was happy with him, but. He could deal with the fact that it never would be.

"Well, yeah, the war was a lot on everyone." That's what he assumes Finn means. "But I'm - I'm glad things are falling into place, then, finally. It was a long time coming." Finn had been holding a torch for Rey this whole time, so - must have been stressful if it wasn't returned until recently.

He almost said something like 'we should all hang out sometime', but then realised he really wouldn't be able to bear hanging out with Rey and Finn and seeing them be happy and together. Nope. Not yet. Couldn't do it.

So instead he just gave a rueful smile and a shrug.

"Yeah, we'll see. Just trying to enjoy it for what it is, right now."

The war was a lot, and Finn doesn't correct him. He'd be lying if he tried to say that the fight wasn't a big part of it. A long time coming, though. He wasn't really sure what that meant so he gave a little laugh. "What? You had it in your head that I wouldn't be single for long or something?" It's not like he ever showed an interest in dating. At least, not with anyone else.

Or had Poe known? Had he assumed Finn desperate? Probably not, no, he- Finn cleared his throat and shifted. That probably wasn't it.

"I understand, though. And you should. We all should. There's no rush." And because he was a masochist. "Someone I know?"

"You're kidding, right? I've met you. Half the base is in love with you," He said with a laugh, and then patted Finn's shoulder warmly. Like a friend that wasn't way way too over-invested.

"Ah - no. Well, actually, I don't know. You might know him. But he and I only just... uh... just met."

He couldn't really admit that they'd never really met. Not to Finn. He didn't really want Finn knowing about how far he'd gone just to try to get over him. It was fine.

That wasn't true. Sure, there have been some people that were bold enough to ask him out, but Finn didn't really think it was half the base. He still laughed good-naturedly at Poe's joke, anyway, hoping that HOTSHOT thought the same.

Anyway, Finn hummed and nodded. He only just met his, too. Sorta. "Lot of new people around lately. Can't say I'm surprised that someone worked that fast." Poe was quite the catch, after all. Anyone he wanted... Yeah.

Poe just kind of laughed, but a warm rose to his cheeks.

"Nah, It's not like that. Taking it slow. I'm a lot faster in the cockpit than I am when it comes to anything else, trust me."

Or at least when it came to love.

Still pining after this one, after all.

He felt a weird pang of guilt toward TROOPER suddenly. Here he was, pining after a guy that already had someone else, that always had, when he had such a kind man waiting for him just on the other end of a text message. His flush darkened a little. "Anyway, it's... It's early days. I'll let you know if there's any good news, promise."

Oh, he'd said something wrong. Finn cleared his throat again and looked away, feeling awkward and out of place. "Yeah. Well, like I said, I really hope it works out."

And he should leave, clearly. "We should hang out sometime, you know. Just the two of us, like old days." Or he could do that. The fear of losing Poe still had him, apparently, but he didn't give a really big chance for a response. "Anyway, I'll leave you to it. There's somewhere I have to be that I totally forgot about."

It almost left Poe with a bit of whiplash, and he kicked himself inwardly for being an idiot.

“Uh- Yeah. I’d like that. A lot. I’ll take you flying, if you want.” Fucking idiot.

“No problem, buddy. Go uh- go have a good time.” Clearly being around Poe was too awkward to be bareable, and he wasn’t going to force him to stay.

“Hit me up later.”

Flying. Finn smiled wide at the idea, his heart squeezing in pain. He couldn't do it but he couldn't turn it down. "That sounds perfect." If only it was-... Anyway.

"Yeah, I- I will. I'll see you later."

And with that, he turned and began to walk away, resolutely not looking back. His whole idea of successfully getting over Poe was clearly not as far along as he thought it was. If not outright failing entirely.

He itched to text HOTSHOT again but felt entirely too guilty about it. The guy was amazing and didn't deserve to be a- a rebound or whatever. He deserved all of Finn.

So he took a deep breath and decided to wait until his head was a little clearer, swiftly making his way... literally anywhere that wasn't around Poe.

Poe, on the other hand, had an almost immediate and opposite response.

He needed to get over Finn. He needed to. He was making things weird between them, and it was only going to get worse.

So he cursed himself lowly and then dug out his comm and found somewhere private and quiet to go sit.

hey, you around?

Finn's phone chimed and he stopped walking, eyes falling closed. It wasn't annoyance at HOTSHOT but more guilt and self-hatred. He deserved so much better than whatever mess Finn was right now.

But he was probably the only one in the galaxy who understood.

always

Feeling very bitter with himself, he kept walking until he found a secluded enough area far away from where he'd last seen Poe.

kind of having a rough day

He'd never tell that to anyone else. Not Finn, who would then see through the thick facade he'd been putting up, and not his squadron, who'd probably just mock him. Somehow, TROOPER had become someone he tell anything to, and he didn't even know the man's name.

you know when you
just really want to be happy for someone

like you honestly really really do

but

yeah

sorry i don't know

i know what i said before about waiting for the right moment but

what if it just isn't going to be the right moment until we make it

you can't help how you feel

Finn wasn't doing a great job of telling himself that. He really was happy for Poe, it just-... Ugh. He scrubbed at his eyes, reminding himself that this was about HOTSHOT and probably had little to do with his own friend.

... Wait, had he just-

are you asking me out?

you're not asking me just because you're upset right?

For both of their sakes.

i am floating the option of asking you out when i'm no longer upset

because

i guess part of why i was holding off was this stupid idea that maybe something would change?

but it's not going to

and you know what? that's okay

because i'm sitting there, feeling stupid, and i realised, like

here i am hung up over someone who obviously doesn't care about me at all, and all i can think of is that i feel guilty even being here when i could be talking to you, instead

like realising i've got this amazing, beautiful thing right here in front of me and i'm too much of an idiot to see it

plus i

look i don't know about you, but even if this doesn't work out
i still feel like

i'd want to know you

really know you

regardless of anything else

... Oh. His reply takes a second since he's pretty emotional right now.

we have to do something to make it happen
i understand
you're right

i
i dont know if im really all that
i dont want to get your expectations up

but i want to know you too
spend time with you and get to know you and have you in my life

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