lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Is that whatever, uh, Top Gun is? Because there was a weirdly serious bit about something called Maverick and fan fiction? I didn't really understand that part." He took a sip of his water and then sat himself down next to Finn on the couch.

"Or we could just talk a bit. I'd kind of like to know a little more about you. Because say what you what, but I don't exaggerate."

He does. He just. Believes it.

Finn leans back in the couch with his glass tucked in both hands, chuckling to himself. "Yeah, that's Top Gun. You'll get it when you see it." Finn still doesn't get but he never watched the movie because he liked it. At least Poe could have picked worse options.

But instead of pushing the silence of a holo on to him, Finn braces himself but still smiles easily up to the other man. "You do," he disagrees about the exaggerating thing, "but we can talk... Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you. I'll try to be as honest as I can."

"I have never exaggerated even once in my life," he blatantly exaggerated.

He pulled his legs up onto the couch, sitting crosslegged and turning to face Finn while taking another sip.

"I want to know basically everything. How you ended up in the First Order, why you wanted to leave, what happened when you got here, what you do here. Everything. So just take it from the top."

Not demanding at all, Poe.

Huh. Finn blinks down at the floor before taking a sip of water and setting the glass aside. He turns to mirror Poe, facing him, then 'takes it from the top.'

"I was taken from my family, if I had a family, when I was very young. Too young to remember, obviously. That's how they get troops except for the ones that enlist. Those guys are- were different from the rest of us. Understood the outside more and things like that. They knew the stakes and the rest of us just knew the Order. Indoctrination, conditioning, marches, the whole thing.

"For a long time, I believed them. After I left, for a while, I was pretty ashamed about it, but there wasn't any other frame of reference. Of course, I believed them. There was nothing else to believe. But it started with little things, I guess. Basically, the supposed enemies of the First Order turned out to be enslaved miners who just wanted enough food to go around or people who's villages were burned to the ground looking for a spy or- Well, you know. There was all that, but they also didn't give a damn about us. I was-" Poe probably didn't want to know about his squadron or the whole life story. Finn paused, swallowed, and tried to summarize it a little. Besides, it sometimes still hurt to talk about.

"I was in a four-man squad. The only one that didn't hate me was FN-2003. We called him Slip because he was slipping up all the time, and Captain Phasma was really wanting to recondition him. I was stayed back to help him. As squad leader, I felt it right, but Phasma ordered me to start leaving him behind. And I did. It was only simulations or sanitation duty, but that's when I started letting him slip. On our first real mission, he was killed in battle. And, uh- Well, we captured a guy that was apparently the best pilot in the Resistance and... you know the rest." Finn shrugged, trying to make Slip's death still seem just as distant as it probably was to everyone else.

"Let's see, uh- When I got here. When I got here, you'd already been living on Earth for over a year, I think. You were dating 622 and told me about the truce, which pissed me and scared the hell out of me, but we made it work. Honestly, the relationship you had with 622 at the time helped a lot, but that's not why you two were together... You should meet him, actually. He'd want to see you."

But anyway, Finn rubbed at his face. "What I do now? I work at the local aquarium." He smiles at Poe like it's a big secret and also the best thing in the world. A funny joke, even. "I like it a lot. But I also work with Aegis. They're a group of people brought here like us that works with the government to keep everyone safe when stupid stuff happens. It's more like an on-call position, but I like it, too...

"When I arrived, you showed me Base One, and I've lived here ever since. The unit next door, actually." He points, like Poe wouldn't know. "When we were together, I-... Well, I sort of moved into here, but I'll go back. It's not a big deal and a lot of my stuff is still there, anyway... I, uh-..." He looks up at Poe, looking a little lost since he more or less answered those questions. "What else?"

Poe listened, a hundred percent of his focus on Finn. He never wavered from watching the man's face as he spoke. It did fill in a lot of gaps, though he blinked at the mention of slip dying when he was taken captive. That battle had been a massacre, and the only one who'd been firing at the stormtroopers had been--

Well.

Him.

He didn't know what to feel about that, but Finn was already continuing so he shoved it away to think about later. He listened right to the end, and then:

"You don't have to go back." He said in a rush, barely even meaning to. He didn't even seem to realise he said it, and he blinked again, and then said: "Ah - I mean - Look, I uh... I don't want to kick you out of your home, Finn. Even if you say it's only a sort-of thing. You don't have to go anywhere, unless you really don't want to bunk with me. I uh - I don't mind the company. Means we could get to know each other better. Or, well, I guess I could get to know you better. You kind of have a jump on me there."

Finn, who doesn't realize the revelation he just dropped into Poe's lap, finds himself a little relieved and then subsequent guilt for said relief. "I don't want to suffocate you." Which is exactly what he'll do if Poe lets him stay.

"But I-... I don't mind bunking with you." He'll take the couch or something, but his smile should be enough to say that he wants this, too. Maybe, hopefully, that's not obligation coming from Poe. Hopefully, it's what he actually wants.

If the honest relief that spreads over Poe’s face is any indication, this is no obligation. He’d been worried Finn would say no.

“Alright. Great.”

He should say something, though. Before it’s too late to ever say something again.

And because, for him, this only happened yesterday.

“I, ah... I’m sorry. About your friend. Obviously it doesn’t mean anything in hind sight, but...” He wet his lips. “Wasn’t a good night for anyone.”

Finn still doesn't have the dots connected that it was Poe that night who killed Slip. The whole village had been in chaos. To him, it could have been anyone but there's only one person that's to blame.

But Finn just nods at Poe's condolences, accepting them. "It's all right. Been a while for me." It's not really all right but time heals those sorts of things.

"It wasn't that long for you, though. Are you sure you're okay? We have healers here." Oh, he... hadn't gone through the whole powers thing yet. Right. Still, though!

"I'm fine." He's not, not really, but he's physically fine. And he's forever underplaying what that night did to him, anyway. "What's a little torture among friends, right? But doesn't even look like I'm wounded anymore. They said something about tiny droids in my blood?"

He read his file. He knows what it said, even if he doesn't really believe it. But he'd watched the cut on his face heal over way faster than it should.

He wouldn't even have a scar, unlike the Poe that had been here before.

Finn gently rolls his eyes at the flippant Poe handles his trauma. It's in a teasing way to tell him he cares and is here but it's all right to brush it off, too. That's how Poe deals with it, he learned. By... not dealing with it.

"The nanites," he answers. "They connect us to the porter, heal us, give us... abilities. Um, did you read the folder they gave you?"

"Yeah, I read it. Didn't know what the hell to make of it, but." He frowned and leaned to the side - still facing Finn but now putting most of his weight onto the back of the couch.

"It said I could basically make things into droids? It was not exactly specific or clear."

That didn't sound like flying... but Finn still smiled. Certainly didn't sound like a lonely ability. "That sounds pretty cool, though. I can teleport and heal wounds, but you were never a big fan of either of my powers."

Should he tell him that he used to fly? Would it just be something else he'd miss? Was lying better than the truth?

"Last time you were here, you could fly anything. Literally, anything. You carried this old rug with you everywhere... Maybe you could make anything into a droid that flies you around now."

"I wasn't a fan of the fact that you could teleport and heal?" He sounds honestly surprised by that.

But then his face fell a little. "Aw, man, seriously? That sounds like an amazing power... But yeah, I can probably build something to fly. I have before."

"The teleporting sort of gave you motion sickness and-" Actually. Finn didn't regret healing Poe that time, no matter how mad he'd been. "-you just worry too much about the healing thing." Which was true.

But Finn smiles. "Yeah, I know you could. It was your favorite way to get around. Oh, you haven't seen the car, yet, huh? You have this old, beaten up car around here- Ah, like a speeder. I'll show you. Anyway, it doesn't work. You'd just pile everyone in and fly it around. And I wasn't here for it, but you repeatedly said that flying a horse was a bad idea so-... Anyway. There were a few misadventures." Rambling again. This day has been too much.

Poe was still listening. Mostly. He was trying to. But he kept getting distracted by the way Finn smiled, and then thinking about the video he'd just watched and how fucking happy he'd looked, talking about this guy, and there was a deep yearning curiosity building in his chest. He just kept finding himself looking at Finn's lips while he was talking.

"No horses. Got it." What exactly did you get, Poe? Who knows.

But abruptly, still watching Finn:

"Look, do you maybe want to just - go on a date tonight?"

Look no one ever said Poe bothered to look both ways before jumping off a damn cliff.

Finn froze, obviously not expecting that one. There was the whole obligation and trauma thing running around in his head, not to mention how Poe was so confused just a moment ago about why he was dating anyone at all.

But he wanted to give Poe anything he wanted, not to mention he was selfish. Or a masochist, considering he had an idea this was just going to end badly.

"Are you sure?" He wanted to ask Why? or maybe mention that he'd had a very long day, but he didn't want to... suffocate him. Of course. So. He. Sat there. And waited for an answer, stunned silent.

Poe wet his lips, and then looked away.

"Yeah. I mean, doesn't have to be tonight, obviously, but-- I mean. It's kind of already done, right? It already happened for you. It already happened for me. So it... what's the point in dancing around it? If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. At least then we'd know."

Finn's hand slowly inched over to Poe's but he still looked worried about this, like it couldn't possibly work for him again.

"I do. I want to try... I just don't want you doing this for the wrong reasons." But he wasn't letting go either. "We can go slow. It doesn't have to be-... I can just show you a fun time."

"Finn, I just watched myself gush about being head over heels for you." He said it a little wryly, but when Finn's hand moved towards his, Poe reached out and took it with a solid, warm, grip.

"I'm not going to promise anything, okay? And I'm not saying if it doesn't work tonight it never will. I just - I'm just really curious. And I already kind of blew past any good intentions I could have had by pretending I didn't want to try or wasn't curious. The hurt has already been done, right? I can't take it away."

He glanced down, bashful from what Poe used to say and think about him. It felt a little like he hadn't treasured it enough back then, took him for granted.

A part of him worried that their feelings for each other wouldn't matter, that their pasts would come along and fuck it up even though it hadn't last time. So he took a deep breath and licked his lips-...

He doesn't know which hurt Poe means, though, and doesn't ask him to elaborate. "You always could," he answers a little cryptically and leans forward to peck a small kiss on Poe's cheek. Moving slow, right? "I think I'll take you up on that date, Dameron. Still want to go tonight?"

He definitely understood if he didn't just as much as he understood the need for distraction. Either way, Finn was determined to ignore his own anxiety and dread for when this inevitably failed...

He felt a slight heat rise to his cheeks as Finn pressed a kiss to them. Damn it. Damn it, he was cute?

"Yeah," He replied instantly. "Yeah, I do. If you want to. You can show me the town."

While staying in and watching Top Gun did sound like Poe's ideal date to Finn's mind, he stood, offered his hand, and they were away. They didn't go to Zozzled or the dinner, too many people that might recognize them. But Finn did take him out to eat somewhere a little fancier, taking him by the park and the aquarium and even on the outskirts of the base where Poe used to work.

Mostly they talked, and it was much later by the time they made it back home, Finn worried that Poe was dead on his feet by this point. Long day, needless to say. But Finn held his hand loosely and let him back into his unit.

"The other porter towns are a lot like Nonah except for Jeopardy. It's off in the west and- I mean, there's a spider cult there, man. If you go over there, just ease into it. But what I meant was that Nonah's my favorite by far. I can show you the others, too, if you want. You can decide for yourself. You never mentioned where you liked best, but I'd like to think you picked here for a reason."

He was trying to ask if Poe liked their outing and had no idea how, so he was rambling instead, finally shutting up when the door closed behind them.

Poe had kept more quiet than he usually would - content to let Finn ramble - but the longer the night went the more Poe relaxed. And as they came back to the unit, as the door closed behind him, Poe realised he’d just had the best night he’d had in a long time.

And it was all because of this guy.

“Yeah, must’ve. Seems like I made a lot of pretty damn good choices.”

"I think so," Finn answered, smiling softly. "I'm not sure you ever realized, but you kind of just... glowed in peacetime... Sorry, that sounds dumb."

He laughed and shook his head a little, glancing to the living room with loose ideas to fix the couch up for sleeping. "I hope you enjoy it again, though."

He knew he should be taking things slow. He knew he should. But he couldn't help the way his chest fluttered just watching the profile of Finn's face glancing toward the couch.

He'd never done anything by half before, why would his heart start now?

He wet his lips, considering, before reaching out and grasping Finn's arm just above the elbow, pulling him a little closer.

"Already am," he murmured. He stepped closer, watching Finn's face, his breathing getting a little shallower as he leaned into his space. As his gaze fell on Finn's lips, and he crossed that gap between them.

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