lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was actually good to know that it hadn't felt like a year to Poe. He still remembered what life was really like, at least. It would help him come back to it.

But anyway, Finn's smile stayed. This was his escape, wasn't it? He hoped it could be the same for Poe.

The front door opened into the living with the adjoining kitchen tucked to the side. Bookshelves, television, all of the typical things that Finn pointed out with a soft, happy smile. He led Poe down the hall, pointing out the bathroom, his room, and- "This one's yours."

The second bedroom had been nothing prior to this. He considered putting workout equipment in it but couldn't afford it. Then maybe a place for storage but he didn't have enough items to store. Now it had a bed on one side, couch to the other, closet and dresser and desk with a window looking out to the kept but untouched backyard- "Any other furniture you want, we can get. Or we can move some things out of here, move stuff around, paint the walls-" Finn shrugged. "It's yours to do what you want. What do you think?"

It wasn't much but it was something, at least.

Poe had been expecting a couch, maybe. Somewhere to crash while the lawyers figured out to bring him back from the legally dead. He wasn't expecting this.

It stalled him, for a second, blinking at the room. He couldn't imagine Finn had the room set up like this all the time - after all, he didn't have any family here, and only a year in which to make friends. While he had no doubt that Finn made friends fast, a guest room was still a lot.

And painting the walls suggested --

"It's great," he said, forcing a smile to his lips. "But you don't have to go so far out of your way for me, Finn. I'm sure I'll be back on active duty, soon."

"I hope so," he replied, truly sincere. "Nah, scratch that. They definitely will after the things you've managed." Since Poe wanted so badly to get back into it, Finn didn't see why they wouldn't let him after some time had passed. At least, he really hoped so.

Still, he shrugged again, glancing at the room. "Until then, I want you to feel comfortable, no matter how long you stay. I wasn't using the space, anyway."

Like he'd give the guy that changed his life just a couch.

"Thanks, Finn." He gave the man a smile and then reached an arm around his shoulders, giving him a sideways, one-armed hug before stepping into the room to give it a closer look over. He put his bag down on the bed.

Paint the walls, huh.

Just how long did Leia expect him to be a civilian?

He turned back to Finn, no evidence of unease on his face.

"Okay, you said something about clothes, maybe?'

"The dresser," he said, nodding to it. "Whatever you don't want, we'll bag up. I'll drop it off for donations tomorrow. Actually-"

He felt like he needed to stop hovering, honestly, let Poe relax in the first privacy he'd encountered since coming back. Yet, Finn was worried. Of course, he was worried. He was desperate to hover. But he could force himself to be a little gracious.

"-I'll go get one. Give you a minute to settle. You good?"

"I'm sure it's all fine. We're about the same size." An amused look. "But yeah, I'm good."

He didn't even wait for Finn to leave before he was pulling off the uniform, all too happy to toss the camo shirt onto the bed as he padded over to the dresser and opened it up. His back was littered with scars, more than he could actually explain - even with the torture that Finn had rescued him from.

Finn did see the scars on his back. There wasn't anything he could say or do about that, though, and just left Poe to his own devices.

Once he was in the kitchen, Finn stopped to take a deep breath, hardly believing what was happening. Poe Dameron was not only alive but in his home. It was a thought he'd been trying to get used to ever since they found him but it was still a little like a dream. Impossible by all rights.

The scars, though. What the hell had happened to him? Capture, surely. Right?

So Finn took his time retrieving a bag, reappearing a few moments later at Poe's door. "So, what's the verdict?"

By the time Finn was back, Poe was fully dressed again, in jeans and a warm cream shirt, and he offered Finn a smile.

"Fits good. Pants aren't as tight as I'd like, but other than that, I think we're alright." He gestured to himself as if asking for approval, and then sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at Finn. He wet his lips, clearly deliberating for a moment, before continuing:

"Look, uh... Finn, I'm really glad to be here, and I'm really glad that you're here, but I gotta ask... There's a reason they sent me here, isn't there. Rather than back to barracks."

Finn smiled his approval rather than saying anything, just happy to see Poe looking somewhat genuinely happy. When he sat on his bed, though, the smile faded. Finn didn't join him, but he tossed the bag on the desk and leaned against the doorframe instead.

"They aren't telling me everything." Clearly. Finn wasn't exactly Poe's family. Plus, considering where he was from, he wasn't entirely trusted either. "What they did tell me is that they think you'll be more comfortable off base with someone you know. Or, at least, with a familiar face." Could they really claim to know each other? Finn couldn't really deny his connection, but- Never mind, not the point. "They think your memories might come more naturally if you aren't under pressure, let you deal with whatever happened a little easier."

He kind of assumed Poe had been told at least that much. "I know it's basically treating you with kid gloves, but at least the prodding's stopped, right?"

Poe sighed, putting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward as he clasped his hands together.

"Yeah. The prodding's stopped. I'm supposed to go in twice a week for 'further examinations', though."

They'd told Finn basically what they'd told him, even if Leia had made it sound more like she thought this was convenient more than anything else.

"Look, I... I know what everyone thinks, but there's nothing there. There's not even a sense of a lack of time. One minute we were crashing, the next I was on that beach. I can't explain why it took so long, but it's not..." He frowned, looking down at the ground. "I really don't think it's going to be something I'm just randomly going to remember.

Finn was quiet for a moment, debating his answer before, again, deciding on the truth. "Probably not." This doesn't just happen to people, obviously, but with no signs at this point, it was likely that no memories were going to come at all.

He wasn't one of those experts, though. What did he know?

"They're worried about it, though. They don't like not knowing things. And you have to admit, it doesn't really sound like something that happens accidentally or randomly."

But if they never figured out anything, they would probably never let Poe back in the air...

Poe bristled, glaring at the floor before looking off at the window and the calm yard beyond.

"No. It doesn't. Which is why I have no doubt that if General Organa wasn't still around, the prodding would have been less medical and more 'enhanced interrogation', if you know what I mean." Did he sound bitter? Just a bit.

"I don't like not knowing things either, but I dislike being useless more than that."

Finn really, really, wanted to believe that they wouldn't do that to one of their own. As much as this place had become his personal paradise, Finn couldn't bring himself to trust anyone fully. Even General Organa, the only person he had trusted most since getting here, wasn't above suspicion. He took nothing for granted.

So he couldn't argue that they wouldn't have done that to Poe. Just never told Finn that he had lived or any of it. The thought made him glower at the floor, but he forced himself to let it go. That's not the reality, at least. Just what could have happened.

He sighed. "It's not the same, but we'll keep you busy here. You're not useless. To hell with whatever they think."

He looked up at Finn, but wave of gratitude and camaraderie he felt wasn't enough to eclipse his quickly darkening mood.

"... Thanks, Finn." He glared back at the floor.

"If it's alright, I think I just want to collapse and recharge for a while. We can figure out what needs to be done tomorrow."

"Yeah. Of course." He nodded, pushing off of the doorframe. "Help yourself to the kitchen if you get hungry. I'll be around, too."

It wasn't like he could blame Poe's dark mood. Not exactly shocking to see either. Finn would probably be more concerned if Poe wasn't upset at all. Time away to recharge would hopefully help.

"Night," he said with a wave and forced himself to walk away. Had to stop lingering one day.

The next few days passed by relatively uneventfully. Around Finn, Poe did his best to keep up a good face, but it was obvious that he was retreating into himself, and that his moods were getting darker. He was holding it together, though. Until he had to go for his next evaluation.

When the car dropped him back off at Finn's house, he was furious. He didn't even go inside, just stalked right into the back yard, grabbing a hatchet. Fire wood. He was going to make some god damned fire wood.

Finn was just getting more and more worried about Poe but he didn't show it. The other hardly needed more people treating him like that. If anything, he needed some responsibility or something. Anything to get his mind off of all this if only for a moment.

When he heard the car and Poe didn't immediately come in, Finn got... even more concerned. It took him a moment to peak out the right window only to find Poe with a hatchet, looking several different shades of pissed.

Should he approach? His fingers drummed on the wall for a second, caught on indecision... "Ah, fuck it," he murmured, opening the back door and hovering near the house. Not that he didn't trust Poe, but he wasn't planning on getting close while the other was angrily swinging that thing around. "What happened?"

Crack went the wood as he split it open with a heavy swing, almost a retort to the question before Poe even really registered it.

He looked up at Finn, his expression still dark but with a tinge of shame, as he grabbed the next piece of wood.

"I'm grounded."

He swung again. Crack! and two pieces of wood clattered apart from each other.

"They won't even give me my driver's lisence back. They said I'm volatile just because I was getting fucking pissed off with everyone treating me like a fucking science experiment."

Okay. Okay, being grounded wasn't all that shocking, honestly. At least for right now. But his driver's license, too? They had to see that taking his independence away wasn't going to help.

"How do they expect you to not be angry?" Poe had every right to be upset, but they were taking it too far... Weren't they? "Never mind. Why would they think going that far was a good idea? What did you tell them?"

"I may have told the psychologist that if he didn't let me back in the driver's seat that I would just steal his car and run him over."

Crack!

He left the hatchet buried in the wood and turned fully to face Finn.

"But I didn't mean it! He was just - They keep asking me things I can't answer and not accepting that I don't know! They probably think I'm some fucking - brainwashed spy or something - I don't know. Talking about me like I don't care what happened to me - of course I do, but I have to fucking live now, don't I? I'm not a danger to anyone, I've never hurt a civilian in my life!"

He was getting angrier as he spoke, and suddenly a woodchip flew up off the ground behind him and embedded itself in a tree.

He... thought he saw-... Must have been a bird. Finn didn't spare much time on whatever that could have been, especially seeing as Poe was just riling himself up.

"Psychologists get weird with talk like that. They just don't know you." Poe really shouldn't have said it, though, no matter how frustrating this was. But their continuous questions-... It did sound like an interrogation rather than actually helping him.

"It just-" He paused and sighed. "This'll take time, but it won't be forever. They'll eventually understand and back off. It'll just take more than a few days."

"It won't be just a few days!" Poe snapped back, furious, but not with Finn. He hated even being furious at Finn, but it couldn't be helped.

He balled his fists at his sides, as little wood chips began to shake and scatter at his feet.

"He revokes my license and I have to go through the whole process again! Even if he says I'm fit for it tomorrow, it'll be months before I have my full license again. Let alone flying. They're going to just keep me out of the fucking air because they didn't do their own fucking jobs and find me when they thought I was dead!"

Another wood chip flew out the other side, clattering into the woods. Then another. They were starting to hover around his ankles, now, but he was too upset to notice.

"They didn't even bother trying to find a piece of me to put in that god damned casket!"

Finn ignored the second wood chip, walking forward when he realized what the anger was really about. And, again, Poe was justified. If anything, he needed the outlet.

The third chip, though, made him take notice. Were those bugs? His eyes followed the source, finding them floating around Poe's feet.

He froze. At least from his angle, those didn't look like bugs. But that couldn't be. He was seeing things. "Poe-"

“What,” he snapped, sending the chips out in a wave from him, scattering across the ground.

By the time he looked down to follow Finn’s eye line, they were gone, and he felt guilty.

“Sorry, it’s- it’s not you. Okay? I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”

He jumped when Poe snapped, when the wood chips skittered over the ground. Those were definitely wood chips. They- They had to be, right? That wasn't bugs.

And Poe hadn't seen it? Wait, did Poe do that?

No. No, no. That's impossible.

"Hold on, I- You're okay. It's okay. I just thought- You didn't see that?" He walked over to one of the chips that had scattered, picking it up and examining it on all sides. That couldn't have just happened. And Poe would never believe him, anyway. He wasn't sure he believed it.

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