lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Poe rubbed his face vigorously, liking everything less and less as it went on.

"Okay. Alright. I don't - I'll go through it all later. There's got to be records, right? You have photos. Did I write anything down? Record anything? I must have left myself memos if I thought there was a chance I could come back and not remember."

... Ah. "The videos," he said to himself and sighed deeply.

"You once ported out for a few weeks and everyone got videos from you, basically saying goodbye. You left messages for yourself at the end of them, but when you came back, it was... kind of a mess.

"Anyway, I don't know if you did it again, but if you did then we'll start getting them in after you've been gone at least a month. So... another two weeks, I guess." That was going to be a long two weeks.

He could probably go to the company and directly ask them for these videos, but that would defeat the purpose of letting his old friends decide if he should see them or not.

"Will you get them now that I'm back?" Poe asked, frowning.

"They should at least be able to release them to me, right?" He didn't totally understand why he'd leave messages for everyone else, but the notes to himself must be important.

Good questions. "I think we will. If not, we can go and ask. You left a sort of... stipulation in the videos, though. You said that if someone just didn't want to show you, they didn't have to. That's why you sent them out to your friends and not to yourself. Not to mention if they were gone by the time you came back.

"There could be something back home, though. Some message only you could find. I don't know."

"Did you get one?" He asked, though his tone was almost tired rather than accusatory.

"I can run through my gear when we get back to - what'd you call it? Base One? - but there's gotta be something you can give me in the meantime, buddy. 'You made a few friends and worked for the military' can't totally sum up two and a half years, can it?"

"Yeah, I got one," he tried to answer casually before running a hand over his face again.

"I don't know what I can say or what you even want to hear. I've only been here for about a year anyway. I don't know everything first hand and there's so much." But he was just stalling now.

Finn put his elbows on the table, following the grain with his fingers and not looking at Poe. "You and I were together. Twice. Once a long time ago, before I left the first time. When I came back about eight months later, you-" Oh, how does he explain that? "You were with a man named TK-622. He was a stormtrooper in the Empire who served on the first Death Star... Anyway, you... said you built Base One for me, that we had planned to build it before I left.

"A lot of things happened. Nightmares started becoming real. The actual Death Star showed up once. This whole place is a mess. You and I got back together about six months ago before you left again. I-...

"I don't know how to sum everything up. A lot's happened, and you've changed along with it. I mean, you're still the same, you're still you, but it was two years. Plus, with everything that happened back home- It's just been a lot."

From a drought of information to a deluge, Poe was - for once in his life - stunned into silence. It was probably for the best that Finn wasn't looking at him, because the confused, innocent sort of shock on his face was not an expression he was going to be able to explain. He recovered quickly, putting a hand over his mouth and looking away, a weird hollow feeling filling his chest.

What did he even do with this?

It was so much information that trying to tease the pieces out was almost impossible. The Death Star? A storm trooper?

You and I were together. Twice.

He breathes through his nose slowly.

Work it like a mission, Poe. You can't take it in all at once. Most important pieces, first.

"... I'm sorry." He said it after a long moment, his mouth half covered by his hand, and still looking out the window. "That I don't remember."

He could barely explain to himself how he ended up in one relationship, let alone two.

Being on the other side of this was hell. He had so much sympathy for everything that Poe went through, just piling on to the pain he already felt.

"It's not your fault," he replied softly. "When I came back, I didn't remember us either. It's just how things are here."

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to feel, a painful mix of homesickness and the barest trace of longing.

He hadn’t let himself think about a life like this in a long time. To learn that not only did he have one, but that he had been happy—

It was a long, quiet moment before he spoke again.

“... So what do we do?”

That was a very difficult question to answer. He heard the we, assuming it meant what they should do with them, but there was nothing to do. They couldn't just pick things back up like nothing ever happened. So he answered the question a different way.

"When I came back, you told me this place is like a vacation. Time back home pretty much stops for us, so when the porter takes us back, we'll start where we left off. We're not actually missing anything at home, so... we just enjoy this peacetime while we have it, even if we won't remember it later. It's not always great, sometimes you're just trying to get by, but it's not bad either."

Finn shrugged and summed it up. "You do whatever you want."

There was the matter of what had happened back home. He needed to tell him about all of that, too, but not right now. It was already too much.

He'd meant the we not so much in terms of their relationship - he still was having a hard time getting his head around that - but in terms of them being all that existed of the Resistance.

All that existed of Poe's family.

So when Finn clarified it down to "you", he almost visibly wilted.

Whatever he wanted.

"Not whatever I want. You already said I couldn't go back."

Yeah... Finn didn't respond to that, choosing to just remain silent for a moment. Poe, most of the time, just wanted to go back to the fight. Even after Crait, it seemed like, no matter what he might have said. He was always-

... Oh. Finn straightened, remembering a crucial detail that he had really overlooked.

"There's another thing... We're not the only people from our time period. Kylo Ren and General Hux from the First Order are here, too." That was one of the first things Poe told him about. With everything else going wrong, he'd nearly forgotten about them.

"The porter is-... I don't know how it works, but when someone dies here, they just come back to life most of the time. It's like the porter doesn't want to let us go. Since we just keep coming back, bringing the war here was pointless and-... There's a truce. I wasn't here for it, I didn't approve at first, but... that's how things are right now."

Whether or not Poe even heard the second half of the sentence was hard to say. He went very still at the mention of the other two men, and then it was like the world was filled with white noise or static.

He certainly didn't seem to address the question of a truce.

"Where are they?"

Poe...

Finn watched him for a long moment, hands around his drink, not surprised in the least. But he still stayed quiet, rotating his jaw for a moment and eventually looking back down at the table.

"You worked hard to get the truce in place. Sacrificed a lot. You even killed Hux once that I know of before it was in place. If people knew about that or if you tried again, you'd be locked up in a prison somewhere and Hux would be doted on in some mansion on the other side of the continent, alive."

His eyes snapped back to Finn's, but there wasn't the same burning revenge as their should have been, in the depths of his gaze.

So far, for him, the First Order's greatest crimes were Jakku and Lor San Tekka.

The Hosnian system, D'Qar, Crait... there was no vengeance to be had. So it was far easier to dissuade him than it might otherwise be.

"There's got to be something to do about them, right? Get them locked up in prison somehow? Because - Sorry, Finn, I can barely believe I would have acquiesced to this in the first place. The term truce means nothing to these people."

Finn shakes his head, not because Poe's crazy but because there isn't anything to be done. He taps his fingers on his glass, recalling what Kylo had done to him, but continuing on anyway.

"Kylo Ren's changed. He lives at a farmhouse now somewhere out in the wilderness with his lover, tries to keep his head down and not run into anyone. Out of all of his, he seems to have accepted the truce more than anyone.

"Hux, though..." Finn rubs at his eye again. "He likes to cause trouble for us sometimes. He's an asshole but he's managed to find some wealth here and got really good lawyers. I've been working with a team trying to take him down the legal way but it hasn't gotten very far. His crimes here can't be proven, and everyone's crimes back home are just absolved. So. No. There's nothing we can do."

Poe made a scoffing noise and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms.

"Lawyers. What a load of bantha shit." He turned his head to glare out the window.

"So, let me get this straight. We can do whatever we want, but whatever we do, I have to share air with them, and I can't even do anything about it. That about sum it up?"

Finn's shoulders slumped minutely, but this was already going about as well as expected, all things considered. None of this was easy news to take, especially coming from the moment Poe had.

"That's right," he answered softly but steadily, trying to keep that strength and sureness about him even if it had all faded long ago. He wished he could help, but there was nothing he could do for Poe anymore.

Poe was quiet for a long time, and then abruptly stood.

"I need some air," He said, his voice hard.

"Take me to Base One. I need to - I need to see what the hell I thought I was doing."

Finn put a wad of cash on the table and stood, quietly following Poe outside. He didn't speak unless spoken to for now, keeping his hands deep in his pockets and quietly guiding Poe around. He had to stop and explain how they can travel to cities through the porters but only because he hadn't told Poe about their powers yet.

Hopefully, he could still fly. If that was gone, too, then Finn didn't know what the hell he was going to do with him.

Once they were in Nonah, it was a quiet, long walk back to Base One. A walk that wasn't usually long but felt like it could have taken a decade or more. But they finally emerged from the trees.

"This is it." He hesitated to call it home. It wasn't for Poe right now. Maybe it never would be again. He points, though. "That's your unit."

... He and Poe had been living together, and there was still evidence of that in the unit, but Finn could easily brush it all aside and go back to his old one if it meant keeping Poe comfortable.

It causes a weird ache in his chest, looking at this place. Like he can see echoes of himself in something utterly foreign.

He squeezes his fist at his side, working his fingers against each other, and then takes a deep breath and starts walking forward.

"Looks like home," He mutters lowly. "Like I took my parent's house and just stacked a bunch of them on top of each other. Not enough jungle, though."

He stopped at the door, hesitating, and then pushed it open, stepping inside and looking around.

"... This is weird, right? This is weird."

"It's like Yavin IV?" Finn hadn't known that. And, no, he didn't mean the foliage and environment but Poe's home. This was built to look like Poe's childhood home. He had no idea.

Fuck... He never took him to Guatemala...

Yet another ache in his heart to place aside before Finn cleared his throat and quickly changed to subject. "It is, yeah. Displacement. Like it was someone else and everyone's just fooled. But it's all yours. If you want it, of course." He might not. Finn tried to keep that thought in mind or else he'd give in to hope again.

"You got into model planes for a little while. There's a few hanging in the bedroom," he pointed, constantly shifting and squeezing his hands, trying to get a hold of himself. "I don't know, um-... Yeah, I guess just... look around." And meanwhile, Finn could shut up.

"Yeah. I mean - we basically just had a pre-fab box set up in the middle of the jungle, so. Not a hard thing to emulate."

Displacement.

Poe frowned deeply, but didn't know what to say to that. So he just... went inside. It was a deeply disconcerting feeling, wandering around. He went to each room, and the evidence was all too clear. He lived here. Even just the way he left his supplies in the bathroom - even though the supplies were all foreign - the set up was familiar. But there was a second set, next to his.

It was his bedroom that was the strangest.

It was shared, quite obviously, but there was a desk on one side and what looked like dozens of ship models suspended from the ceiling, with a couple still unfinished on the desk. They looked like the kind of things he used to build as a kid - his dad trying to help him but with no real idea, both of them wishing his mom was still alive to help. He reached out, running his fingers along a wing, but...

"... I don't even recognize any of these craft," he murmured. "I cared enough about them to spend hundreds of hours building these, and now I don't even know what they are."

Finn had stayed back, allowing Poe to explore their home as much as wished without being suffocated. Yet, Finn didn't stay far either. He wanted to be there if any questions came up.

For now, he stood ouside the doorway, leaning against the wall and frowning up at the models. "They're what the people here are familiar with, the kind you flew in the military."

But Finn knew Poe wasn't talking about the planes. It was his memories that were the problem.

Finn couldn't help with that. "There are some movies you liked that had a lot of these fighters in them. You could start over with all of that or just do something else." His voice got steadily quieter until he just stopped again. There was nothing he could offer him, not really.

He didn’t need to know Finn very well, to hear the way he was shutting down. And that, more than anything else, snapped him out of it. He turned to look at Finn, heart honestly aching for him.

“... you know it doesn’t matter to me, right? All this- how am I supposed to know if I want it, or not? But it matters to you. So you’re the one who should be telling me what you want to do with this. Because I don’t - I don’t know what I did, to get here.” He gestured very slightly toward the bed.

Edited 2019-07-21 05:41 (UTC)

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