lina_musebox

;poe

Sex Pollen Pre Relationship
Poe Dies Pre Relationship
Nightmare Early Relationship
Hogwarts AU Pre Relationship
Poe Almost Dies Pre Relationship
MoM AU First Night
Slightly Older Hogwarts AU
Post-TLJ
Bodyguard and Prince AU; overflow
Massage Pre Relationship
Oblivious Poe AU
Cyborg Poe AU
MoM AU Sex Pollen
FO Infiltration Sex Ring
TFLN
Soulmate Tattoo AU
Finn Marries Someone Else AU
Evil Finn AU; overflow: 1, 2
MoM AU Poe 10 Yrs Older
Vamp/Were AU
Missing for a Year/Telepathy AU
MoM AU Poe 'canon' updated
Dark Possessive AU
Married on Yavin AU
MoM AU Sexy Outfits
MoM AU Subway Sex
MoM AU with Melodies!Finn; overflow
MoM AU Photo-Op Kiss
Nearly Old Men AU
MoM AU Rule 63
Online Dating AU
MoM AU Poe Lost His In-Game Memories; overflow
Trans Poe AU
College Roommate AU
TIE Pilot/Prostitute AU
MoM AU Finn Returns from Port-Out
MoM AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Canon AU Manipulative Masturbation Machine
Shape Shifter AU; timeskip
FO Sexual Torture AU
MoM AU Finn Has a Boyfriend
Hades AU Finn Left Alone
MoM AU Apocalypse
MoM AU Poe Died in Canon
Canon AU Handjob in a Hospital (inspiration)
MoM AU Another Apocalypse
WWI Pen-Pal/Love Letters AU
Institutionalized Prostitution AU
MoM AU Body Swap
Post-TROS Victory Party

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I don't care what you think my body says! I don't want this!"

He kept squirming but only really managed to thrust into Poe's hand once or twice. It felt good and awful and he hated himself. He thrashed against the bindings holding him down.

"You're wrong, Poe! You know you're wrong!"

Poe reached out, sliding his hand around Finn's neck and gripping it firmly, pushing him back against the wall as he stroked his cock roughly.

"That's just what everyone else has told you, Finn. Everyone else has told you that this is wrong. But how could I be wrong when this feels so good?" His grip tightened, and suddenly Poe wasn't wearing anything either, gripping Finn's cock below him and lining it up.

He let out a breath as he sank down, his body taking the intrusion, far, far too easily. Dreams were dreams. "That's it..."

Finn hissed as Poe lowered himself down, the warmth enveloping him. He refused to move his hips, horrified by the mere idea, but a moan left his throat before he could bite his lip down hard enough to bleed.

He pulled uselessly against the bindings again, his eyes shut tight. "You're wrong. I know you're wrong."

"Tell yourself whatever you need to, Finn," Poe purred, rolling his hips with a soft moan.

With Finn's eyes shut, he couldn't see it, but he could hear it - the gently crackle of a plasma blade being drawn. Not something like a lightsaber, but smaller. The equivalent of a knife, as Poe began to ride him in earnest.

"Think I'll make sure everyone else knows, too."

Then, with the hot tip of the plasma blade, he started to carve his name into Finn's chest.

Finn's eyes popped open at the sound, and he tried to pull away but there was nowhere to go. And now, he couldn't even struggle or else risk his life.

He wanted to risk his life, but the trauma of his childhood wouldn't let him. No matter bad things got, he had to live. So he was frozen while Poe did this, tensing and crying out against the pain.

... He cried out in the real world, too.

But in the dream, he could do nothing but beg. "Please, Poe. Please. Stop. I'm sorry. Please." It felt good. It all felt good. "Stop, please."

"You're mine, Finn," Poe purred. "You're m--"

"Finn!" The sound cut through the dream, Poe's voice insistent on the other side of a locked door, a quick bang of his fist following it. "Finn! Finn, are you okay? Is everything alright?"

"No, no, no-"

He woke with a jolt, eyes staring wide at the door. It was repeating itself. Poe was coming for him again and again and again. He gasped with it, a hand going to his chest but finding no stinging cuts.

His cock was at least a quarter hard, though, and that- He closed his eyes for a second, wanting to scream but only barely breathing. If he tried, no sound would probably escape. But he opened his eyes again, keeping them on the door.

He said nothing between his gasps for air, thinking that maybe Poe would lose interest in him if he pretended to not exist. Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe he hadn't actually heard anything.

The pounding had stopped, Poe leaning with his ear to the door, trying to hear inside. Finn had stopped crying out, at least. So that was good? But now he wasn't replying at all, which was bad.

"Finn, please, tell me you're okay," He said through the door, swallowing heavily. "Please tell me you're not hurt--"

Poe was really there. And he wasn't leaving.

Finn curled up into a ball, the blaster to his side but not in his hands. "Go away!" It felt stupid to say, because he knew Poe wouldn't listen. If he wanted in-

But he wasn't saying those things, was he? He sounded worried. Genuinely worried. How was Finn supposed to know if that was real?

He hated this room, hated this ship. He wanted to leave even if it was straight out the airlock. But he couldn't.

So Finn swallowed and tried again. "I'm not hurt," he said loud enough to hear, the emotion wavering in his voice. It was a lie, really. "I'm not-... I'm not hurt." If he repeated it enough times, though, it might come true.

There was silence on the other side of the door for several long seconds, then the quiet sound of a hand sliding down metal.

Poe had stablised himself well enough to not immediately react, but he couldn't help but feel hurt. In the end, though, he'd told Finn to stay away from him, and Finn was listening.

"... Sorry," He murmured. He'd done this. He had. He'd been afraid that something else had somehow gotten in and attacked Finn or something, but--

He pulled his hand back from the door, and then stepped backwards. Further. Further. Until his back hit the opposite wall and he slid down it. He couldn't bring himself to leave - didn't want to be far away - but knew he should. So this was the compromise.

After a long time, thirty minutes or more, once Finn had caught his breath and could think again, he decided he needed to go find Poe. Yelling at him to go away could undo all of the progress they made, if that wasn't already unraveled.

He did not want to, though. Wasn't even sure he could make his limbs move enough to cooperate.

Still shivering, blaster at his back, he got up and opened the door hardly an inch, just enough to peek out.

Poe was still slumped against the opposite wall, but the wait had exhausted him, and he was slumped onto his shoulder, breathing shallowly as he slept, his eyes closed tight.

Finn didn't know what to do about this. A strong part of him wanted to lock himself back up in his bunk. Another chunk wanted to open the door wide and stare at Poe until the other woke up, always keeping his eye on him.

It was just a dream, though. And they had made progress, hadn't they? Poe had seemed so worried about him... but was it just the possessive nature of whatever this was between them?

Whenever Poe woke up, he'd find the door open and Finn's bunk empty. He decided to pretend that nothing was wrong, pretend that they were okay and forget everything else. It was the only way he was going to get through this with his mind intact. So Finn traveled back to the cockpit, ignoring some of the things they had done in here.

It felt like, when he was here, that he was going to get back to base that much faster somehow. Though, he kept his back to the wall, facing towards the ship proper. He wanted to know if Poe was coming upon him, an escape route already in his mind if he needed it.

He startled awake sometime later - the stress of the last few days evidently exhausting him - and his dreams had not been much more pleasant than Finn’s. But that was normal. He stood, walking to the open door, gently calling: “Finn?”

But the room was empty. Poe’s heart fell into his stomach, a cold fear washing over him. Had Finn left, somehow? The escape pod on this ship was little more than a casket, but...

He checked it, first, panic fluttering in his throat. Pod still there. Okay. Okay. That was good.

That narrowed down where Finn could be pretty sharply, and eventually Poe made his way to the cockpit. He slowed as he approached the door, swallowing, and then quietly: “Finn? You in there?”

The dream had subsided, most of it almost forgotten save for the sharp cuts into his chest. Finn kept rubbing at the phantom pain, its meaning weighing heavily on him. He tried to grapple with why he had dreamed that, wondering if that really was what he wanted. It was playing tricks with his mind.

The voice startled him, but Finn did little more than jump and turn towards the source. "I'm here," he answered just as quietly, worried.

The dream was just that, a dream. The real Poe cared enough about him to not want to hurt him, to want to give everything he thought Finn wanted. Nothing was going to happen... Finn swallowed and tried not to worry more.

The door was open, but that didn't seem to matter - Poe came to a stop outside the doorway and didn't try to enter it.

He only moved far enough to be able to see Finn, and then halted, going no further.

The dread and fear made his blood run cold, even if he couldn't quite figure out why.

"You were crying out, last night," he murmured, resisting the urge to get closer.

Ah. Finn frowned. Of course, that's how Poe knew something was wrong. He scrubbed at one eye, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I woke you." Unless he was talking, too, Poe didn't know what his dream was about. As far as Finn was concerned, he didn't need to know.

A subject change was in order. "How are you feeling? After... yesterday?"

Poe didn't have to know what it had been about. Finn had literally run from him - at his insistence - and then locked himself in his room.

It didn't matter what was in Finn's nightmares, Poe knew who had caused them.

He raised a hand to squeeze at his opposite arm, turning his head to look off somewhere else entirely. He'd had a long night, while Finn was sleeping, and his head had been going a million miles a minute. He'd only really come to one conclusion, but it was a big one:

"... I think there's something really wrong with me."

Finn was shocked at the admittance for a second before his eyes widened and he realized exactly what was happening. Their talk yesterday, the breakdown, it was coming to a head. It was working.

Hope swelled inside his heart, filling the cracks and seeping into the tissue, much of it never to be shaken free again.

He licked his lips and held out a hand, not moving from his spot. "Come here?" He should be the one controlling how near and far they were, but Poe was vulnerable right now, too. Finn wanted to be next to him but was scared to do it for so many reasons. It'd be easier if Poe did it for him.

As soon as he realized what the thought sounded like, he shoved it away.

He took a step forward before he realised what he was doing and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped back again, shaking his head.

"No." He didn't trust himself to be near Finn right now. Everything was still a lot, and he felt like if he wasn't always constantly watching himself, he'd fall into something he couldn't pull himself back out of.

He had a choice, right now. He could have what he wanted - what he so desperately, desperately wanted - or he could stop himself from making Finn into something like him.

He didn't know what he was, exactly, but the look on Finn's face yesterday had made it clear that whatever it was, it was horrifying and disgusting.

The word probably should have hurt but it didn't. Finn's hand closed, feeling like that was the wrong move, overall. Instead, he stood up and took his own careful, slow step forward. It wasn't a lot, didn't close much distance, and was about the best distance he could handle by doing it himself.

So Finn stood there and leaned against the wall. "You know you're not broken," he repeated again, quietly. "Right? You're hurt. We're just hurt."

They can be fixed. They can heal. Nothing was ever really broken.

Poe swallowed, unsure he could really agree with that. He almost stepped back when Finn stepped toward him, but somehow managed to stand his ground.

"I think we should go back," he said tightly, avoiding answering the question. "Get... get separated."

Even the words are hard to say.

He didn't realize Poe's real meaning...

But that- That was a painful idea but was probably the best option. Finn didn't want it but he knew he should. He should want to get away from Poe.

He swallows and doesn't reply for a moment.

"... I meant what I said. Last night. How I felt..." Wasn't totally sure it was okay to say again, though, like this. But he skipped over that, grabbing on to his own arm, too. "I want you to be okay. To find help or whatever you need. I want to help, too... If you think I could help by just being away--"

Maybe the underlying issue was with him. Maybe he did want all of that, made Poe dig up his past traumas, made him do this to them both. Maybe he was the catalyst and forced it all to happen. Wouldn't be the first time something catastrophic was his fault.

"I don't know if it will help," Poe replied, bluntly. "But I refuse to hurt you. And I am. So. If I can't be trusted to be around you, I shouldn't be. End of story."

He still couldn't actually look at Finn while he said it, and his voice sounded as broken as his heart.

It also didn't sound like something he fully believed. It was something he was trying to tell himself but couldn't fully commit to. Couldn't completely understand why this wasn't okay, just that somehow it wasn't. He didn't want Finn hurt. He didn't want Finn to hate him. And since he didn't know what he was doing to do it...

"I don't know how to - I only know how to do it this way."

Finn shifted his footing, wanting to get closer but knowing better. This conversation was entirely too difficult, made worse by his own muddled, confused feelings. He bit his lip, took a few breaths, and kept trying.

"You never wanted to hurt me. Knowing that you're this scared to do it, tells me that you won't again. Just-... All you have to do is listen to me, that's all. Then it'll be okay."

No, not okay. "It'll be better."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject