lina_musebox

Yes- Yes! It was the same but more than before, everything he didn't even know he needed. The pleasure was pulsing through him again just like last time, hands clawing at the sheets, body trembling and tense.

He couldn't think now. Couldn't think about how stupid and wrong this was, how he shouldn't be feeling this good from it. His mind was just blank, and it was perfect.

His moans were near constant, rising in volume every time Poe mercilessly spurned him forward. He was so close, so close-

Just as he felt Finn clench before an orgasm his hand on the man’s cock roughly gripped the base- so tight and hard that it halted Finn’s orgasm in its tracks, even though he kept stroking his prostate in the meantime.

“Beg me,” he demanded, his voice rough and dark, his fingers spreading Finn open as he spoke. “Tell me what you need, Finn. Tell me how badly you need me to fuck you, right here, right now.”

Finn scrambled at the bed, unable to fall over the edge he was just skimming. He needed to go over it, needed it more than air.

He registered Poe's tone before his words. He was angry again. This was his punishment for before. Finn cried out, pushing himself back on to Poe's fingers. His need mixed with fear and excitement. He dreaded what Poe was going to do to him. He couldn't wait to find out.

Belatedly, he understood the commands and had no idea how to follow them, how to voice exactly what he was feeling. "Please, please, Poe- I need it, I need you, please, I need it- I'm sorry, Poe, please, please- I need you-" He didn't want to beg, didn't want any of this. But his back arched, trying to fuck himself on the fingers. "Please, please, please-"

It made the blood pound in Poe’s ears, full of dark victory. He could have spent more time prepping Finn, but neither of them wanted that. Instead he haphazardly poured lube onto his aching cock and then lined himself up against him. With a ragged groan that sounded almost like a growl, he pushed himself deep inside with a single, brutal thrust, and nearly came from that alone.

He swore, head rolling back as he began to move, fucking Finn hard and deep as his strokes on the man’s cock resumed, a desperate feral edge to them. Poe fucked him hard into the bunk, the whole thing creaking under the weight.

“Fuck— Finn— Finn—“

Finn cried out silently, mind completely checking out when Poe pushed into him all at once. His shoulders tensed, arching back like he was debating whether he should crawl away or curl around him. It hurt and it was everything he wanted. Poe felt perfect inside him, already moving sharp and hard and deep.

He could hear a voice - his voice - from far away, moaning and babbling, begging. "Yes, please, Poe, yes-" He was so close to that edge of darkness again, so close, and he wanted to go over it with him. "-come inside me, you promised-"

Dimly, he knew he would have liked to make this last longer. But despite himself he heard the reminder like a command, and between that and days worth of edging himself, he couldn’t resist it.

He roared as he came, brutally pistoning deep inside Finn’s body, each wave of pleasure slamming through like like a lightning bolt. He was babbling Finn’s name as he came harder than he ever had in his life, his whole body shaking and vibrating with the intensity.

It was like Poe had become a part of him, and his orgasm shaking through him surged right into Finn. It could have been the loss of control or the searing heat deep inside of him or just the mere thought of getting fucked like this when he had never wanted it in the first place.

Whatever it was, Finn was over the edge and back into the darkness. Outwardly, he came with a loud cry, his whole body singing, his limbs trembling and gripping into anything. He was so much deeper than last time, every nerve he had firing in rapid succession even as he, eventually, started to come down from it.

But he was still deep in that dark place, feeling as if he could never leave now.

Poe shuddered as he slowly began to wind down, shivering and trembling as he pressed kisses into Finn’s spine like worship.

He slowly pulled out, his cock hyper sensitive even to that slight brush as he withdrew, and he lowered himself to kneel on the floor behind Finn, breathing hard. He wrapped his arms around Finn’s waist and carefully drew him back from the edge of the bed and backward into his arms, kissing his neck as he wrapped him into a tight hug, his heart beating so fast he was sure Finn could feel it in his own veins. He pressed his face to the side of Finn’s head, every motion delicate and careful as he kisssd his ear, closing his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered, quiet and low and nearly trembling with emotion. “I love you so much, Finn...”

He had whined lowly when Poe removed his cock but made no other sounds as he was maneuvered around. No resistance either. He burrowed into Poe's arms, breathing deep and trembling, tears in his eyes.

He eventually started hearing words, feeling kisses. Distantly, he knew something about this would feel bad later but he couldn't understand what in the moment.

He hummed against Poe, relaxing fully into him and keeping his eyes closed. Love was being spoken to him, he realized, and he just wanted to bask in it. Finn curled into Poe's lap, his face finding the crook of his neck, and he couldn't recall a moment where he felt happier and safer.

Poe wrapped his arms tightly around him, hugging Finn warmly to his chest, almost rocking him.

He hadn't felt so secure and happy for a long, long time, and he couldn't help but smile against Finn's face, still pressing kisses against his face. Eventually, though, they had to get up, and Poe carefully looped his arms under Finn's shoulders and raised him up off the floor, then moved to set him down on the bed.

"Lie back. Spread your legs," He murmured. "I want to make sure you're alright."

Finn did not like being away from Poe's warmth but he did as told, lying back on the soft bed and spreading his legs wide for him. Enough time had passed that he was starting to come out of it, feeling his limbs again, focusing on every breath.

It wasn't enough to make him speak up or even so much as pause. Poe wanted to make sure he was all right, wanted to take care of him. Finn didn't need to think about it any further than that. He certainly didn't want to right now when he still felt so high and numb.

But some thoughts were coming and some questions with them but none of the dread. Just bliss. For now.

He remembered the first few times, how raw and sore he'd been afterwards, sometimes for days. As much as he had come to yearn for that ache, he also would have loved something to soothe it. So why not let Finn have both? He climbed onto the bunk, settling between Finn's legs, and reached out to gently run his fingers against Finn's abused flesh. Yeah. Raw and a bit swollen. Signs of the perfect coupling, but definitly going to be sore later.

He thought he could help, though.

"I've got you," he murmured as he knelt down, raising Finn's hips up as he dipped his head further, pressing careful kisses just under Finn's sac, and trailing down. His tongue flicked out, and he could taste himself in Finn, but it wasn't that disconcerting. If anything, a low, hazy thump of arousal flickered in his veins.

He closed his eyes and carefully, slowly, lavished attention on Finn, his tongue sliding a little deeper with every pass.

He gasped when Poe first touched him again, bodily flinching but not moving away. He was so sensitive and just didn't want Poe to be down there, especially right now. One of his hands gripped at the sheets, giving another low whine.

Poe's words helped ease his nerves. This still felt like an invasion, but what had Poe not seen of him by now? He'd just finished fucking the place he was now prodding at. This time, though, he wanted to help. Actually, he wanted to help the entire time. It had only ever been about making Finn feel good, right?

Before he could question it further, Poe was kissing him, licking. He could feel another intrusion that he wasn't prepared for but it felt surprisingly good, not realizing how empty he felt until just that moment. Finn squirmed, considering moving away, but the gentle attention was amazing. Instead, he moaned with it, his head falling back, relaxing and tensing all at once.

He didn't press very deeply, and there was no urgency - his eyes closed and he fell almost into a trance, focused on easing that sore flesh as well as he could with his lips and tongue. He could almost feel Finn's moan through his lips, and his heart vibrated in time with it.

He pulled up, gazing up at Finn with something that could only be described as devotion, and for the first time in days it was as if the man that Finn had thought he'd known was still buried somewhere in there.

"Alright?" He asked, when it had never occurred to him to ask before.

It probably wouldn't again.

Finn opened his eyes just enough to look up at Poe. It seemed like the first time he was able to see since he'd been- since he first ended up on the bed. But now he was looking up at Poe, the real Poe, the one he knew had been there... It was all just a misunderstanding, that's all.

But there were some things that Poe needed help with. Finn would see to that. He could help him. Poe was worth it, tenfold.

He'd probably think a little clearer later, realize that he'd done something that couldn't be reversed so easily. The dread and wrongness and fear would consume him again. Distantly, he knew that. Whatever ended up happening didn't change this moment, though.

Finn nodded, extending his arms out to him, on the cusp of grateful tears. His Poe was still there, and he wanted to hold him close, to be held by him, to never let go.

Poe's smile was soft, and warm, and he didn't even question the arms - shifting himself so he could slide up Finn's body and into them, wrapping his own around Finn's torso as he buried his face against Finn's throat.

Later, it would plague him - that moment of peace. He wouldn't understand where it had come from or what had caused it or why he'd been so happy.

He'd chalk it up to the sex.

But for now he was just blissfully hazy, lost in Finn's arms. He leaned his weight into the other man, exhaustion suddenly dragging his eyeslids closed. He could fall asleep here, and he knew it would be dark and dreamless and better than any he'd ever known.

With Poe's warm, relaxed body against him again, Finn was able to put everything else aside. He could bask in this, staying here forever if he wanted to, drowning. He closed his eyes and let himself be slowly consumed again.

Hours later, he was still in the bed, wrapped in Poe's arms, staring at the bulkhead. The same horrifying thought kept swimming around his mind as he turned the words this way and that, trying to decipher some sort of sense: He'd begged Poe for it.

He couldn't keep denying the finer points to himself anymore. The baseline was that he'd enjoyed the sex with Poe, on all occasions. The fear and forcefulness and possessive nature- It all turned him on more than anything else ever had before. He had to admit that.

But he still knew this was wrong, even if he liked that it was wrong. Poe refused to listen to him, refused to sway when he expected Finn to bend on command. They had agreed on something mutual, and Poe led the charge in fucking it up. And Finn begged him to keep doing it.

Fuck, fuck, what was wrong with him?

He untangled himself from the arms, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, but there was nowhere to go. He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed at his face, just sitting there. Even if he did get up, Poe would find him. And he'd gravitate back to Poe, thinking they could talk. And they'd somehow end up fucking again or something. But they did need to talk, Poe needed help.

Maybe- Maybe now that they had done this, they could stop arguing about... how it would begin. Maybe if they could move beyond that, Poe would feel more secure about their relationship and listen to him.

He pressed his thumbs against his closed eyes, willing himself to calm down. Nothing would get done if he was freaking out.

Poe stirred awake slowly, dragged out of a deeper sleep than he'd known in a long time. Finn's solid weight had moved, but all he had to do was reach out a little and it found the man's warm back. Almost instinctively, he curled towards it, leaning in to press a kiss to the man's spine.

Murmured, quietly: "What time is it?"

Finn jumped when Poe touched him before forcing himself to relax. He didn't want to get on his bad side immediately. Besides Poe hadn't- he hadn't hurt him, so it was an unfounded reaction, anyway.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, hoping he could have more time alone. "It's probably too early. Just go back to sle-" The ship's day cycle turned on, the room brightening to simulate morning. "Or not." Great. He should have left when he had the chance.

For now, he took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll check the comms, see if we got any messages in the night." Doubtful but it was part of his routine, anyway, all protocol.

Really, he was just stalling but had no idea why.

It was a little too late - Poe immediately drew back when Finn jumped, brows furrowing as he watched him, the smile slipping from his face.

"It's alright, I'm awake," He said, watching Finn get up.

Damn it. Had it not worked? He'd been so sure it had worked, everything had felt so good, but Finn was skittish with him again...

Slowly, he sat up, completely naked, but didn't move to stand.

"Alright." Slight worry leaking into his voice. "I can grab us some food."

Poe was suspicious. It was already starting to fall apart, and he wasn't even dressed yet. Speaking of, the issue was beginning to bother him, the exposure making his skin crawl. Should have never taken off his clothes in the first place. What had he been thinking?

"Okay." Okay, yeah. Suspicious was one thing, but Poe was still being reasonable. So far. He picked clothes off the floor and made to leave. "We'll do that and then we'll- we'll talk."

They could do this. Finn had to have faith that they could do this.

He frowned, wondering vaguely if he should just catch Finn's wrist, pull him down and pin him to the bed right here. Force him to remember how good it was.

But he'd been so happy, so content, mere hours ago. In the wake of it, Poe just felt a strange sense of loss.

Loneliness.

"... Alright."

'Talk'. Finn kept saying that, but hadn't they talked last night? Hadn't they finally come to an understanding?

But still, he didn't move. Didn't try to make Finn stay.

After all, it wasn't like there were far for him to run.

Finn paused at the door, wondering if he should somehow go back and reassure Poe. Kiss him or something. The look in his eyes was making even more uneasy than he already was.

But he didn't want to kiss him. He wanted to get away.

So he let out a breath and left. Quickly throwing fresh clothes on, trying to pretend that last night didn't happen, he desperately set out on his morning routine. There wasn't much to do, though. He had cut down to only the bare necessities as the days got more and more confusing between them.

He checked the comms, not surprised at the lack of messages. Considering their long route, it would probably be a while yet before anything came in. That was more unsettling than it should have been...

Instead of doing much more, he stayed there in the cockpit, watching hyperspace pass by, knowing Poe would find him eventually. He had to get his thoughts in order before then. Had to talk to him.

Had to be honest.

He stayed in bed for a while.

He knew he should get up, but his mood was souring quickly. He'd thought it was okay, now. He thought he'd fixed it. He'd held Finn in his arms and told him that he loved him and Finn had held him back. It had been even better than he'd expected - it had felt loving and even joyous, and now all of that was souring.

He thought Finn understood.

He forced a breath out of his nose. Calm down, Dameron. It took the Admiral nearly half a year to break you. You've had only a few weeks to work on Finn. It's because you've had to rush it, that's all. He'll come around.

He didn't totally believe what he was telling himself, but he decided he did, and started grabbing for his clothes.

Breakfast were two ration bars, heated until they were a little more then tepid, and then brought through the ship to find Finn in the cockpit.

"Any messages?" As he held out a bar.

Okay. Showtime.

Finn took a deep breath and turned around to face Poe. "No, nothing." Again, not shocking. Just disappointing. He took one of the bars. "Thank you."

Instead of beginning to eat, though, he picked at the warm wrapping. He had just thanked Poe. Granted, it was for handing him some food, but a few minutes of normalcy didn't change the last few days. He should just get this over with.

He leaned back against the bulkhead, trying to choose his words carefully again. "I really enjoyed last night," he began, starting with as much honesty as he could muster. "I-... I shouldn't have enjoyed it but I did. I wanted to talk about it."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject