lina_musebox

Poe didn’t reply.

He was done fighting about the inevitable.

The mission went about as well as it could, when the pilot barely wanted to speak at all. They secured the shipment, but discovered they were going to have to make a few more hops around the galaxy before they could go back to the base. Poe hated it. Every moment around Finn was turning into a sort of torture. He hadn’t gotten any release from their interlude, he’d been too focused on demonstrating how much pleasure he could give Finn to find any release himself.

Stupid. He was so stupid. He’d never been fully trained for this role - the Admiral had always trained him to be the subordinate - and then when Poe had turned out to be too much of a political liability, he’d been dropped like a hot potato. He could remember how he was broken with almost exquisite detail, but he didn’t know how to replicate it. He’d let his feelings get away from him, again, and because of that he’d clearly lost the man he loved. Again. He was furious with himself and he was furious with Finn for not understanding. He couldn’t be wrong, could he? Maybe Finn and him weren’t the beautifully matched pair that he envisioned. Maybe he’d just fallen so hard for Finn that he was imagining it?

No. No, that orgasm had been real. It was proof. He’d just ruined it either by rushing it or giving Finn an illusion of freedom, or both.

Damn it. Damn it.

He managed to ignore the aching need for nearly 32 hours. He barely talked in that entire time and certainly never looked at Finn - not willing to taunt himself with something he thought he’d lost. But finally during the next night cycle he broke.

His balls practically ached, heavy and sore from lack of release as he stripped down in his bunk. He lay down, closing his eyes and picturing Finn’s shuddering body as he came, and Poe’s cock instantly came to attention. He didn’t even notice how deeply he moaned when he started to stroke it.

He also didn’t notice - or chose not to notice - that the door was open a few inches.

Finn should have been enjoying the cold shoulder. He didn't have to worry about being taunted or cornered. Admittedly, he was still terrified of the other shoe dropping, of something happening out of nowhere, but nothing ever really came. Instead, Poe was just ignoring him.

It was starting to drive him crazy. Several times, he wanted so badly to reach out, try talking to him again, try to work out a way they could make this work. Poe had good intentions, didn't he? It was just the execution that had freaked Finn out, that's all. Even as he thought along those lines, he knew it was stupid. It had to be stupid, he just couldn't really see exactly how anymore.

What he would give to send a message out to Rey or Rose. But not only were they constantly in hyperspace, he wouldn't know what to even say. Then there was the problem of Poe finding out he spoke to one of them while on this mission.

In short, he still didn't know what the hell to do, but the need to do something was starting to wear him down.

During one of those debates with himself, he heard the first moan. For a moment, he didn't know what it was. It almost sounded pained, and he was on his feet to investigate before he could remember why he shouldn't. The next moan, though, made him realize exactly what was going on... but he pretended to not know. It could still be anything, certainly.

The last two times they had an encounter, Finn recalled, Poe hadn't gotten off. Promised to, touched himself with an intention to, but always left in a fury after Finn got what he needed. No, not needed. Not that second time. Still, it- He realized he hadn't heard Poe make those sounds before and why.

He wouldn't let himself face the truth of what was going on until he saw it, though. Finn had padded quietly to the door, not even breathing, when he finally caught sight of a sliver of Poe's body. His mouth went dry again, dread filling him. Had Poe planned to do this? Was it part of the whole thing? Instead of leaving like he knew he should, his breath hitched to watch Poe's hand stroke his swollen, angry cock.

Finn bit his lip, the heel of his palm pressing against his own as it stirred, willing the interest to go away. He needed to leave and resolutely not think about what their last encounter made him feel like, how he had drowned and never wanted to come up for air.

Poe’s eyes were closed tightly, his brow furrowed in an almost pained expression, his lips parted in a breathless moan. He was stroking himself, turning his wrist with a little twist at the top of every stroke, making himself shudder with need.

Fuck, but he wanted Finn. Wanted every atom in the man’s body to belong to him. He wanted to belong to Finn, too, but he didn’t dare let himself think about it. He’d been abandoned once. It wasn’t going to happen again.

The errant thought made him let out a low frustrated sound as he tried to concentrate again. Focus, Poe. Focus on how tight Finn’s body felt around your fingers, how deeply he shuddered...

Poe moaned, again, his head rolling back, his spine arching slightly as he stroked himself furiously.

Finn wanted him. And Poe had said he still wanted him, too, or something along those lines. We’ll see how long it takes until you beg me to do it again. Was he just being cruel?

Had Poe ever actually been intentionally cruel to him? He just didn't seem to understand. Miscommunication. Maybe-... Maybe if he could focus on what Poe needed, be in control of his own body, it wouldn't be like before.

... What the hell was he even thinking? Whatever Poe was offering came with strings, he could already see them. He should leave, tuck himself quietly away, and silently wait until they made it back to base. Try to get Poe some help and forget this ever happened.

Would once more even make a difference, though? It didn't have to mean anything. It could even help connect them again. Get Poe happy enough to speak to him, at least.

Biting his lip and feeling sick, Finn moved away from the slit in the door to not be seen and knocked. He wasn't going to do what Poe had done to him. He was going to try and set an example. If only his voice sounded as strong as he wanted to be right now. "Poe?"

Maybe he didn't want him anymore. That should be a happier thought.

Everything went silent after Finn spoke. Even the low constant hum of the engine somehow seemed to dim. A second passed. Two. Then there was a rustle of fabric, the sound of Poe moving around.

He was furious. He half expected Finn to be on the other side of the door, telling him to stop. Because he would. Finn was incredibly good at lying to himself about what he wanted.

When he got to the door and opened it, he was in his underwear again, the hard outline of his cock clearly visible and straining against the fabric.

“What?” He asked tightly, half ready for needing to defend himself. The admiral would never have let him masturbate, but Finn was not them. Poe could deal with himself whenever he wanted, it Finn refused to.

He jumped back from the door when it opened, not expecting confrontation like this. And now he'd made Poe angry again, too. Yet one more sign that he should just leave. He didn't want to make Poe angrier or open himself up to punishment.

The dread came back in waves but whatever happened, he could fix it. If they went too far, it would be okay. Finn balled one hand into a fist, willing himself to just get on with it.

"Do you still want me?" he asked in a wavering, uncertain voice, body tense and ready to run.

Poe narrowed his eyes half in suspicion and half in confusion. After a few seconds he seemed to decide it was a real question.

“Do you think I would suddenly not?” He asked, incredulously. “I know what I want. That hasn’t changed. But if you think you can come in here and try to take my thoughts from me—“

Yes, he absolutely thought that Poe would suddenly not. Before he could address that, though, they were off on another weird tangent.

"What? No! I don't want to take your thoughts. What are you talking about?" Even more evidence that Poe wasn't okay.

Okay. Okay, he could tell he was starting to sound a little nuts.

He rubbed his face. Fuck, he was tired.

“I just- Forget it.” Finn had clearly not understood him. “If you’re not here to stop me from thinking about you then what do you want?”

Poe was thinking about him?

Finn mentally berated himself. Of course, Poe was thinking about him. After the obsession he'd seen over the last few days, what else would he be doing? Unless he was lying, trying to manipulate Finn, trying to make him think he wanted something when he didn't.

Except. He did want this. Just once more, just to see if it could be better.

He swallowed audibly, not knowing how to put his thoughts into words, especially in a way Poe would understand. Or in a way Finn could remotely keep his pride.

"You-" He stopped, cleared his throat, and hoped Poe didn't realize that was the full answer. His hand pressed against his stomach, playing with his shirt. "I thought that if I could be the one giving you... what you needed and we ignored me, then... it wouldn't be like before." But deep down, his real intention for standing here was that he wanted to be taken, just once. He couldn't voice that like this, though. He shouldn't even think of it. "Just... I touch you and that's it."

This was stupid on so many levels. Stupid of him to ask for it and stupid of him to think Poe would want it.

Poe paused, something shifting in his expression, though his brows were still knotted.

Finn wanted to touch him. That was good, that he could admit that. That was a start. And kind of a relief, though he didn’t want to admit that to himself. He shifted his weight, but his underwear was too thin not to display the way it twitched as he thought about it.

He doubted Finn would be able to keep that boundary line, and a part of him wanted to warn him. But he ignored it.

“How do you want to touch me?” He asked instead, his voice a little deeper, a little huskier then it had been a minute ago.

He didn't want to say it.

But, no. No, no, no. This was better. They were communicating, detailing exactly what their intentions were. This was much better. He should accept this with open arms. It was an improvement.

So even though the question made him a little shy, it gave him courage, too. Not enough courage to look down or admit he'd seen any movement at all but enough to look Poe in the eye when he responded.

Okay, he could do this. Deep breath. "I want to get you off. If that's what you want."

What he wanted was to have Finn moaning and writhing under him and begging for release.

But this was a lot closer to progress than the last day and a half had been.

He watched Finn for a long few seconds, as if considering, and then opened the door wider and stepped back toward his bunk, shedding his underwear on the way and tossing it to the side before he sat down, facing Finn, something like a dare in his gaze.

He watched Poe move across the room and stayed frozen to the spot a few seconds after he sat down. Inside, Finn was still debating with himself. What the hell was he thinking? What was he doing this for? He knew this wouldn't end well, so why-

But Poe had agreed and was waiting. He had to quiet the noise in his head. This was what he wanted, right? Just for tonight, just to try, right?

Another deep breath and he stepped quietly inside, moving forward until he was kneeling in front of Poe. He could do this, he told himself. It was only a matter of giving in, which was all he really wanted, to give in like he had the other night, to stop thinking and just be.

He took Poe's cock in his hand, bracing the other against the bunk, stroking slowly as he stared up into that hard gaze. Eventually, he had to look away and focus. Finn kissed his hip and trailed his lips to the base, making open kisses along the shaft and not thinking about it.

It was excruciatingly soft and slow and made Poe want to shove him to the floor and strip him, so it took every last ounce of restraint that he had to hold himself back. His heart hammered in his chest, and after a moment he tested the waters by reaching out and running his fingers across that short-cropped hair.

He knew Finn wanted his clock.

He knew it.

Finn paid no heed to the hand on his head. It felt good, if anything. Good to have some sort of reaction out of Poe that was positive, telling him that he was doing good so far.

It spurred him on to take the head in his mouth, pressing his tongue to the slit and hallowing his cheeks. Before he knew it, he was already pushing his way down, small sounds escaping from somewhere deep in his chest.

This was already better. He wasn't nearly as deep into it as he had been before but it was still better than nothing.

The look in Poe’s eyes was getting darker, his fingers curling to scrape scalp as he wet his lips. Watching Finn.

It was a good start. But it wasn’t enough.

Finn had to know this wasn’t enough.

He didn’t make a sound but his hand moved, rubbing down the back of Finn’s head, caressing his neck... then slowly his grip cemented and he stated pulling Finn in, forcing him to take his cock deeper as he started to roll his hips to thrust into that perfect, needy mouth...

It wasn't a sudden movement but it took him by surprise, anyway. Finn choked at first, panicking, wondering what he had actually expected.

But they had talked about this. It was about getting Poe off, that was all. Finn hadn't said how. And he wasn't being hurt. If anything, he- No. No, it wasn't about him. That didn't matter, anyway. This was still okay.

Finn shut his eyes tighter, swallowing with every thrust rapidly to get rid of the gagging. He was still anxious, still worried. The head of Poe's cock kept forcing itself into Finn's throat with every thrust, and he- he-

Fuck, he loved it. He loved the idea of Poe using him. He loved how his body could respond before he could catch up. He loved how wrong it felt, how he knew it was wrong. He loved it.

The bulge in his pants was much more prominent now, a wet spot starting to form every time it visibly twitched. He moaned again, deeper, more constant, not realizing he was doing it. He was deep into it now, as deep as before, beginning to drown already. Now that he knew what it felt like, it was so easy to find again.

Each thrust was getting sharper, and he pushed Finn’s neck down to change the angle enough that Finn wouldn’t choke so much - but also so he could thrust deeper.

He finally let out a moan, deep and low, as he heard Finn’s, his eyes scanning over the man’s body.

There. He could see it.

“Stop.” He gripped the back of Finn’s head, pulling him back and off his cock, noting how swollen and full Finn’s lips were. He breathed, his cock shuddering in time.

“Strip.”

Finn shivered once he had been pulled away, gulping down gasps of air. Why had Poe pulled him off? He thought he'd been doing good. He whined deep in his chest, already missing Poe's touch.

Before he could pull himself out of it, he was getting a command. It made sense, too. Poe would like it more if they were both naked, just like Finn wanted. Though he didn't care for putting his body on display to Poe after last time, that was part of it, wasn't it? Pushing the boundary but still what they talked about, still what Poe wanted. It was perfect.

He only paused for a fraction of a second to gasp for breath before he pulled the shirt off. The pants were removed soon after, faster than Finn had ever undressed before. His hard cock slapped against his torso, standing proud and leaking on full display, and Finn hated it. He felt ashamed that he was so turned on, scared that Poe was seeing him like this. It just made it worse and better. He loved it.

When his clothes were gone, he just kneeled there and didn't know what to do. Poe had told him to stop. "Please-" he gasped quietly. He just wanted to touch him again, to be touched. He wanted to stay drowning like this as long as possible.

For a second Poe thought he was dreaming - that was the only way he could explain the universe aligning so perfectly with his desires. With Finn kneeling there, glistening with need, begging him—

It hit him like a sudden rush, and he grabbed Finn by the hair and pulled him upright before pushing him hard down onto the bed, bending him over it with his ass up. Poe pushes up behind him, heavy cock pressing between Finn’s ass cheeks, grinding roughly against him as he held him down. He reached around, grasping Finn’s cock and giving it a rough but well angled stroke, grunting with the effort.

It wasn’t part of the bargain, making Finn come again. But he’d said Please...

“Say it again.”

It was almost enough to bring him out of it. The sudden jostling and being pressed face down into another bunk. The only thing that kept him under was the familiarity of this. It was so close to all of the perfect things that were a part of last time.

But last time was- His eyes squeezed shut. "No-" He didn't want that again, the fear and dread already welling up inside him. But it was alongside something else, made stronger for the wrongness of it.

He could move, though. He could push Poe away, fight back. He could even use their safe word, and Poe would stop. But then Poe would stop. The edge of this deep ocean was just there. He could taste it. He wanted it.

Finn squirmed beneath him, his hands clutching at the sheets, trying to pull away and push back into Poe's cock all at once. The hand on his own cock was the excuse he needed, pushing him ever closer until he told himself he couldn't resist it. "Poe, please- Please-"

Poe was breathing hard, his heart going a million miles a minute, and he tensed at that initial no, his grip getting harder.

He didn’t care, he told himself. It was just a no. It wasn’t the word he’s given Finn.

And even if Finn used that word now, it probably wouldn’t stop him. Not when he knew he was right—

But then Finn started to move under him, almost fucking his hand—

He moaned at the words, grinding hard against Finn’s ass, pure pleasure rippling through him. He surged downward, peppering Finn’s spine with almost vicious kisses as he started to stroke him in earnest, rough and fast and everything that he wanted. He reached out, fumbling with his drawer, and when a finger finally began to push inside Finn it was slick with lube and Poe’s precum. He wasted no time in finding Finn’s prostate, stroking it with a singleminded determination as he pushed a second finger deep alongside the first.

He was careful to keep an eye on how close Finn was to an orgasm. He’d let it happen to early, before.

This time? This time Poe was going to edge him so often that Finn would be a gibbering, begging mess by the end of it.

Yes- Yes! It was the same but more than before, everything he didn't even know he needed. The pleasure was pulsing through him again just like last time, hands clawing at the sheets, body trembling and tense.

He couldn't think now. Couldn't think about how stupid and wrong this was, how he shouldn't be feeling this good from it. His mind was just blank, and it was perfect.

His moans were near constant, rising in volume every time Poe mercilessly spurned him forward. He was so close, so close-

Just as he felt Finn clench before an orgasm his hand on the man’s cock roughly gripped the base- so tight and hard that it halted Finn’s orgasm in its tracks, even though he kept stroking his prostate in the meantime.

“Beg me,” he demanded, his voice rough and dark, his fingers spreading Finn open as he spoke. “Tell me what you need, Finn. Tell me how badly you need me to fuck you, right here, right now.”

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